I’m absolutely lost, my husband died on 27th April 2024, from Cancer. He was only diagnosed in December. He hadn’t received any treatment for it as he wasn’t strong enough.
I know the cancer was incurable, and that would likely take him, but I didn’t think it would be so soon and fast. Wednesday he was great, we were at our daughter’s house with our granddaughter. Thrusday he was in alot of pain, 36 hours after entering A&E he was gone.
I feel so guilty, those last few hours I fell asleep. Family had been there all day, it was the only time it was just the 2 of us and I fell asleep. He was scared & in pain and I fell asleep on him. Instead of telling him how loved he was. I knew he wanted to fight, he didn’t want to go but there wasn’t anything that could be done for him. He was only 39, I’m 38. He’s been in my life since I was 11, he was my world, the only man to ever truly love me unconditionally. Now he’s gone.
Hi Niknoo,
So sorry to hear this. I just want you to know that you are not alone and I’m sure others will be along soon to offer more support.
Justin
Truly sorry for your loss 
It’s heartbreaking and so cruel. I’m in a very similar situation and it all feels surreal.
Try not to feel guilty for falling asleep, you were his biggest support and love while he was going through his illness. He wouldn’t want you to feel this way, he would want to thank you for being his rock and always being there for him.
Sending hugs 
I have lost my husband to like you A Short illness at the age of 55. I miss him so much I feel on my own, even though I have lots of people around me.
I also lost my husband aged 56 only 4 months after his diagnosis - he was fit and healthy before then but his cancer was rare, aggressive and incurable.
I still struggle at times to believe my life has changed so much in a short period of time. We were on holiday with our kids in October walking up mountains without a care in the world.
It takes time to process all that will have happened in that short time and it is hard to keep up when things are moving so fast. Don’t feel guilty - we all try our best and he will have known he was loved as you were there - be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve and work through all your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it just feels too much to manage but keep posting here where others understand.
Same we was on holiday in January. We only had 3 months. I’ve lost my best friend. I don’t know how my life will go, I feel I have no purpose. I’m trying to here my husbands voice when he said you have to live and enjoy life. I have an amazing family but without sounding selfish I feel I need more.
Hi it’s so hard without our special person. As you say even though you have people around you it’s just not the same. I think we must all feel like that. You spend your life with someone then for them not to be here is for me anyway gut wrenching. I am so lost now. Love.x
40 years of amazing memories which I will treasure. I wish we could have made so many more. I will try to continue with my husbands wishes. Miss him so much.
I
My husband passed away on 7th April. Im 42 & we have 3 wonderful children. He had cancer too, I am completely broken. 6 weeks on & I feel worse each day. Just the thought of never seeing him or speaking to him again is unbearable.
Sorry for your loss
I’m not sure if it gets easier, it’s 5 weeks today that I lost my partner. It all feels surreal.
Sending you hugs
I think all we need is to talk to someone in the same situation. A friend I. need is a friend who understands.
We understand on this forum. 
People here really do understand which is a comfort. Others may try but they don’t understand the depth of the pain we feel.
Keep reading and posting here if it helps.