Husband/spouse support

Losing a parent
1

My mum died 4 weeks ago and im just not ok, i cry every day and i miss her so much. My husband was great on the day and the couple of days after but i feel like he has no empathy or care towards me. He doesnt reply to my texts if hes at work and i say things about it (but will reply to others at the same time), i am visibly crying and upset and he doesnt comfort physically or verbally. Today i went to see my mum in the chapel of rest and when i got home the first thing he said to me was he moaned about the kids…he has said nothing about it to me or comforted me. I am still being expected to do bedtime every night. For example I am currently sat trying to get my 4 year old to sleep sobbing because of today and hes downstairs probably watching videos.

Am i expecting too much? How have other peoples spouses responded?

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2

Hi,

I’m so sorry for your loss.

You are definitely not asking for a lot at all.

Could it be that he doesn’t know how to handle it? Is he afraid of talking about your Mum in fear of upsetting you more?

Grief does affect everyone differently and although it may seem he is being careless this may be his way of coping.

That doesn’t mean that it is right and you are right to be asking for a lot more support right now.

Could you sit with him and explain how you feeling and what support you need right now and ask that he helps to sort the kids out and sits with you whilst you talk about your mum?

I know it not the same as having your husband support, but please reach out to us here as well. We are here to listen and give support.

Much love and condolences at this time x

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