Husband struggling

My husband’s Dad passed away 6 months ago, I know he is struggling with the loss. Myself lost my my Mum 5 years ago and it took me about two years before I could live life again, so I am aware how grief impacts people differently. But currently struggling as my husband has just told me from out of the blue he isn’t
in love with me anymore. He says that he doesn’t know why and can’t explain it. We have gone through the talks of what maybe wrong or if there is someone else, and nothing seems to show that would cause this change. We have been together 14 years and have had an amazing marriage, it just doesn’t seem to make sense. He doesn’t want to talk to his friends or family about it and I am at such a loss. I have asked him if he should speak to someone but he says he wouldn’t know what to say as he can’t explain why he is feeling this way. I just wonder if the grief has had an impact on how he can’t find his feelings so to speak. I can’t help him and it hurts so much. I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t want me to move out and says he still loves me but as his best friend. He is going to work and started his sport again, so I don’t feel he is depressed but more grieving, but I just don’t know.

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Hi @Kattinks007, I’m glad you’ve found our community. I’m sorry that your husband is struggling, and the impact that this is having on your relationship.

I just wanted to share our Supporting Someone resource with you, in case you found it helpful:

Everyone grieves differently so what works for one person might not work for another, but hopefully you can find some insights or ideas there.

I hope you find the community a support; please do keep reaching out to us.

Take care

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Hello Kattinks007,
What a very sad situation you are in. It’s so hard to know what to do, I can’t imagine. Your husband sounds as if the emotions of his grief are overwhelming him and he’s trying to shut them all down. I know when my dad died 12 years ago I found it very difficult to relate to anybody for over a year. My husband, sadly, bore the brunt of it. Grief, as you know, plays with our head. Perhaps he just needs you to walk beside him until he can re-establish some emotional equilibrium. There are many good sources of advice that might help you in the meantime. It’s worth giving them a read. I think there are online resources on the Sue Ryder and Cruse Bereavement websites which might help?
Sending you a virtual hug and I hope you both find a way through this difficult time.

Hi @Kattinks007.

That is a difficult situation you find yourself in.

I wonder would some sort of couples counselling help?

If your husband feels he doesn’t know what to say to someone to help him sort out his feelings, perhaps you being there to start the ball rolling, may help him to unpick all this and at the same time, give you some insight as to what’s going on in his head.

If he doesn’t want to do this, I’d be inclined to go for counselling myself, just to get some emotional support to deal with it.

Good luck.