My first post, but not my first experience of a close family death. My daughter passed away Jan 2012 aged 20 from a degenerative disease which took all her cognitive and physical capabilities over a few years. Now my husband has maybe weeks to live thanks to prostate cancer, stage 4. He turned 60 this year. He was my late daughters step father. My ex passed away when my late daughter was just 10 years old, we had split up years before hand. I’ve recently been signed off from work so I can spend whatever time is left with him. I wonder now Christmas is close silly things like will he pass away on Christmas day? If he gets past Christmas will he pass away early Jan near or even on my late daughters angelversary? My stomach twists in knots just thinking of the future and the battle of painful grief yet again. Just hating life yet again at present. It’s been a 6 year cancer journey to now get to this point. Just wanted to vent how shitty this life has been.
LittleMiss, I am so very, very sorry you are suffering the tragic loss of your child and soon, your husband. To watch a loved one whither away is so heartbreaking, I know.
Of course your brain is spinning about the “when” of the certain death of your husband and you are afraid of the horror of grief once again. It sucks.
The calendar date isn’t important anymore. Put up a tree and have a Christmas gathering now. The worst that can happen in you have 2 Christmases.
And should it coincide with the date of your daughter’s death, maybe it is better than 2 days of remembrance of the worst days of your life. I don’t know.
You are already grieving the loss of your husband, anticipatory grief.
I am so sorry for you and your broken heart. Yes, life sucks for you right now. No question. Live in the moment and take each day hour by hour. It is the only advice I can offer.
Much love.