My daughter is collecting my husband’s ashes tomorrow and a week ago I couldn’t bear the thought of having them because of what they represent but now I believe they should be at home with me. I’m still worried about reacting how I did when he died 5 weeks ago and I thought I was going to have a heart attack with the pain. As I have MS I went into a relapse but I don’t think I should dwell on what might happen. Besides the worst thing has happened and nothing will bring him back. Sorry I’m starting to ramble. I would like to have some ideas on where to put them really. Thanks for reading.X
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I collected my boyfriend’s ashes myself and kept them on a shelf above my bed for 6 weeks. A couple of weeks ago his daughter asked me for them so I had to give them to her as she was NOK. It was comforting to have him home for that time, now I feel restless again as I have no idea what the family will do with them, if anything. If I had my way I would have kept them with me until I go, or scatter them off a prominent local hill and I would join him in time.
I hope that you find some comfort once he is with you again. You will realise what needs to be done.
I brought my husbands ashes home and put them on my unit with a candle. Also little posy of flowers. Also the grandkids photos . I light the candle every day. This is more comforting for me , instead of trailing to a cemetery.
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My husband suddenly passed away in April , and I always “nagged” him about “ashes “ we had in the house ! His Dad , two dogs, and then his Mum, he said his Mum wanted hers to be mixed with his Dad and scattered together . Although they had to wait 23 years for that request and sadly my husband wasn’t able to honour the request as he suddenly died, but the request was honoured . So now I have my husbands ashes in a urn personalised with the tree of life on it his name and dates , it sits on his side of the bedroom , as it will until my ashes can join his and we can they be scattered together x
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Frankie, I was afraid of my feelings the day the ashes were ready. But having them with me brought an incredible sense of joy because his remains were “home”. To be honest, I say good morning to him every day and good night in the evening. I have them between the living room and dining room on a credenza where I display dinnerware.My husband was always buying me flowers and it is now my turn so I get flowers for him every week.Please let us know how you have felt afterwards as we are all different in our emotions and reactions. May you find comfort in your grief in any way you find that works for you and your lost relationship.
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@Frankie_24 My partner is home with me for now.
He left me with specific instructions of where, but not when. Although he does have a reserved space, I’m not ready to let him go just yet…
Ironically, he’s sitting in the fire place in the front room. It’s our favourite room and he hated the cold…
I’m comfortable with him being there, some of my friends not so… but tough on them x
Well I did collect his ashes yesterday with my daughter and we sat in the car sobbing. I must say though when I got him home I felt an overwhelming comfort that he was back with me again. I’m keeping him until my own passing and we will be scattered together in our favourite place, together forever. Thank you all for replying to me, it really has meant a lot. X
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Is there any way you could ask for a part of your partner’s ashes? As we are second time around, Andy’s children want to be able to share his ashes so they can have him closer to their childhood home which I’m more than happy to accommodate. My best friend, who happens to be our funeral director, asked if she could keep a part of him too. Of course I said yes but unbeknown to me, she had them made into a glass Robin which she presented to me today, to help me celebrate what would be been our 10 year wedding anniversary tomorrow. Andy’s long term Navy friend is also going to have some ashes so he can keep his dear friend close by forever xx
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@Ginger68 I love the Robin, what a thoughtful gift she had made for you.
No, his brother made the decision that his ashes were to be kept in tact. His daughter is NOK (although there was no relationship). His best friend since aged 13 and vocalist in their band, wanted some ashes to put inside one of his drums but it was vetoed.
It seems strange how people suddenly need to make decisions which determine such important events. He was my soulmate, we were inseparable; we slept, ate, socialised together. His best mate was a constant in his life for 48 years. Yet we have no say.
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I’m so sad to hear that. People grieve in different ways so the decision made by his brother may have come from that. You have so many memories and I’m sure lots of his ‘stuff’ around you which will hopefully bring you some comfort. Sending love to you xx
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