Thank you for your kind words, I will channel my inner strength and do my best to make him proud, I will save the tears until I get home 
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I will be thinking of you as you say so long, not goodbye to your lovely husband. You will do him proud.
It a shame some people aren’t attending, funerals are safe if you follow the guidelines. Covid has people scared.
I had a bad evening last night, I drank a bottle of wine and cried all evening. I thought I might sleep better but alas no, I’m still awake, the only thought/feeling I have is loneliness and despair.
We are truly privileged to have the love of such amazing men and we carry that with us forever xxx
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Hi Kazaa,
Thanks for your super lovely message:heart:The funeral was pretty traumatic largely due to Richards family, they never made any effort to visit him when he was sick, he grew up having a pretty awful childhood and was determined to be the opposite of his family, where he was warm, loving, so incredibly kind and affectionate they are cold as ice. I got out of the taxi and not one person came to say hello, they couldn’t have made me feel more unwelcome if they had tried sadly this would not have been a surprise to Richard but he still would have been disgusted at there behaviour. The celebrant then talked of the loving and wonderful childhood Richard had!! His mother read a poem that Richard would have fell about laughing over as it talked about a mother’s love for her son and the unbreakable bond?!! I stood up at the end and gave my eulogy, I was determined to get through for Richard and although I had tears pouring down my face I managed to read it clearly and with passion and love, I know he would have been so proud:heart: I then came home, did the same as you, opened a bottle of wine, sobbed my heart out and then didn’t sleep 
This gaping whole we both are feeling something I wouldn’t wish on anyone:cold_sweat: I thought of you too yesterday, I was on my way home on the train and you, and your pain popped in my mind, maybe Richard was thinking he was glad I have found someone to chat to 
Xxx sending you lots of love xxx
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If you can do it off line that would great.
You did Richard proud, you stood by him during the funeral on your own, that took a lot of courage and love.
You focus on the love you had with Richard, that is something his family will never have or understand.
It is very true when they say you can’t pick your family but you can pick your friends. I have siblings like that, they never bothered when Tommy was alive and I didn’t ask them to his funeral. I only want people who cared and spent time with Tommy and me around.
Stay safe, your in my thoughts and prayers. xxx
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@Sarahsmiles well done for getting through the funeral and for giving your eulogy. Families can behave very strangely at times
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Hi jazz’s, I am not sure how I send my number offline but I will try and find out, I am not very technical, that was always Richards dept …
huge love to you xxx
Kazza!! Sorry, predictive text! Xxx
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Thank you Richard, gosh it seems strange saying those words, I would always make a point of thanking my Richard and making sure he knew I loved him - life really is rubbish sometimes hope you are doing ok xx
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