Husbands grief

Hi. The last time of wrote on this forum it was last year after the death of my sister in law. ( I wasn’t close to)My husband had previously lost his father in 2012, and his brother in 2014 and has a toxic relationship with his mother. In the last year he has swing from being angry ( punching walls,doors) sometimes Infront of our young girls .) He has experienced extreme paranoia/anxiety . Accused me of having an affair ( I haven’t and wouldn’t ) , heard voices, tried and stopped 2 types of anti depressants and now states that the cbt sessions he is having are pointless. In the interim we had 2 couples counseling sessions , the second one he walked out of . He didn’t like the counselor suggesting he wasn’t listening to me and my feelings. A few weeks ago we argued and he got so angry calling me a shit wife, unsupportive, blaming me for his mood he picked up the bed mattress ( I was lying down ) and flipped it up. I fell off and bruised my arm and felt really shocked/ was crying. This incident lead to his 2 nd try of anti depressants. He has since stopped them after a week of taking them as he seemed to get worse. Although I know he wants to get better I am left with all the emotional scars. I tried to explain how the bed incident made me feel small and shocked but he just text me saying it was bullshit and a very minor thing. Totally dismissing my feelings. I honestly don’t know what to do or where to turn. Can someone please give me some advice/ perspective. It didn’t feel minor.

@DeniseC hi I’m sorry for yours and your husbands losses antidepressants take a month to get into your system so its usually after a month you see some improvement in mood and I was wondering could your husbend possibly have a border line personality disorder as that affects your mood you can be up 1 minute and on a real downer in the next also you can get angry pretty quick as for cbt it can work also depends on the therapist I had 2 courses of cbt for my ocd first didn’t work second was working therapist was amazing unfortunately towards the end I suffered 2 losses and that set me back and as you say it didn’t feel minor to you and you have to be careful that it doesn’t escalate into something more and its not good for your kids to see him punching things I grew up seeing my dad smashing things up it stays with you I would suggest he continues with the cbt it takes time is there anyone you can talk to because this all affects you to please take care and stay safe I’m so sorry for all you are going through you will get support on here

@DeniseC I have obsessive compulsive disorder and what they call emotionally unstable borderline personality disorder and also suffer with depression right now I’m not on any medication I stopped it years ago my partner who I lost in April grounded me she was amazing she made me feel like I could overcome anything accept her loss I will never get over that she loved me even with all my problems I do hope you guys get some help and that what I have said might help I would imagine its like living on eggshells and that’s not right I’m often around if you want to chat