I (30 years old) lost my wife (29yo) suddenly in September

New to this community after losing my wife in September very suddenly to illness this year (2024)

October would have been our 3 year wedding anniversary, and next February would have been 10 years together.

I don’t really know how I feel, cheated, angry, upset, living with a void, having a lot of waves of anxiety but coping a little better with it right now. This is something no person should have to go through at any age, but I cannot come to believe this has happened to me and that she can’t keep living her life how she was.

I hope to find comfort in this community, and then come to help others too.

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Dan30 so very sorry you find yourself here and at such a young age

It’s very early days for you so just keep taking things hour by hour and day by day. There really isn’t any rush to do anything.

This site has been a lifeline for me. You can say whatever you feel and no one judges you. We’ve all experienced the disbelief and hopelessness as your future is turned upside down. You are not alone so please keep posting.

Sending love and strength x

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Thank you Jody,

I have found this and other similar forums so helpful. It can be such a lonely feeling like how can anyone else understand and when you hear stories from others in the same position or similar it can help the lonely feeling.

Thank you for the kind words again and all the best to you

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Dan, my husband died on September 24 of this year. I get you 100%.

My husband wasn’t young and I think it must be worse to lose someone so very young. Being old means we have lost many people we loved and although we are in pain and grief, it is not a new experience and we have learned that life will get better.

So, let me share with you that yes, it gets better. It will never be the same, your entire life changed and the future you planned is not to be. But, in 18 months you will be in a different place mentally and physically and you will make it to the other side of grief.

You will. We all will.

Much love.

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Thank you for the kind words and words of hope! wishing you all the best x

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Oh my, no words really. Truly awful, and it’s a crappy club to join, I joined it on 8 Oct when my husband died. You probably feel all those emotions that you mention. It’s like a sledgehammer hitting you at speed.
Keep posting, and keep reading, that’s what I am doing at the moment. Really sorry Dan.

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Thank you, wishing you all the strength.

It really is a tough club to be part of, I keep thinking it only hurts this much because it was so good for all those years.

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Dan I know the struggles you have, I’ve had many years of hurt and treated like complete garbage by partners till one day March 2022 I met my partner by chance at work we became friends at first then we decided to give are love ago, now a little over two years I will be going to his funeral 2nd December. I’m 39 and he was 57 I know a big age gap but it didn’t matter to anyone not even us. We had so much planned after Christmas we was going to get married but a house and live together as long as we possibly could and it has been ripped away in the blink of an eye one minute we’re having a conversation in the morning by the afternoon I go to see him and spend some time by his hospital bed to be told there placing him in a coma two weeks later I’m watching him take his last heart beat. I’m lost broken and feel like ending life cos I just can’t cope anymore.