I lost my husband to cancer on the 22.05.20
We had not even reached our second anniversary he was my world we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.
I am in pieces they say it gets easier but it gets harder every day I feel like my life has ended .
I just can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without him
I am new here too. It is getting harder every day in my world too. Please stick around. I was not going to. I did not find an immediate answer - so I thought i’d run. Even if all you want to do is howl in pain, someone here will be doing almost the same, offer words that might help.
There is a temptation on forums for what might seem like easy “me-too” responses, ( I feel your pain/ that is what happened to me ) but I do understand from experience what you are saying. Not what you are feeling. I can never do that. But what you are saying. When those you trust to take care of your most precious thing massively mess up. But stick around. We are all struggling, and even offering mutual support can be like walking on eggshells. Go easy on us when we try. All we want to say really, the details don’t matter, is that" WE KNOW"
2 Likes
Hi. JH60. Welcome. It’s so very early yet for you to feel any comfort or easement. I am so very sorry for your loss. Everyone here knows the pain and you are among friends. No silly platitudes here, or criticism or judgement. Just plain facts from our own experiences. You have no doubt by now heard them all. ‘you will be OK in a few months’ and similar nonsense. Ignore them. Grief needs to be taken at your own time and pace. There are no methods or magic wands. But it is a process we need go through. Nature has given us emotions so that expressing them can give a little relief from stress. Never ‘bottle up’ emotions if you can avoid it. It will, at the moment, seem as if it gets worse every day. What you are feeling is or has been common to us all. You are not strange in any way.
Please come back and talk to us if you want. There are many here with experiences such as yours, and maybe can give some comfort.
Take care and give yourself time. That may not seem possible at the moment, but it is true. Blessings, and be kind to yourself. John.
2 Likes
Thank you sometimes the pain is unbearable
I feel so lost without him it did not help we spent what time we had left in lock down we were unable to go and make memories and I was his full time carer as we had no help untill the last couple of weeks. I didn’t get to say goodbye as he died in hospital and i was unable to be there they only let me see him after he had gone. I find I am just working constantly as a distraction i stay up late still i can’t stay awake then up really early i just feel like I am existing with no purpose anymore every day is the same.
Hi. JH, Yes, the word ‘unbearable’ really sums it up. We feel we want to scream, to take on the world that seems so unfair and unjust. Why? why? keeps popping into our minds. Unanswerable questions. If we continue to try and fathom it all out it can lead to despair. Far better accept the situation. I am not for one moment attempting to minimise your pain. No way!! Because I do know, as we all do here. Every day will not always be the same. I have found we almost imperceptibly begin to emerge from the distress. It takes time and a lot of patience. Keep posting if it helps.
Blessings. John.
Hi I’m new here too and I am relieved to have found this place, I lost my fiancé almost 6 mths ago, I am just so angry about his loss, he was my soulmate, my best friend and the love of my life we were just starting our life together and he wasn’t meant to go, I wasn’t prepared for that xx
Hi Honeybee I am sorry to hear of your loss Life can be do cruel we had only been married less than 2 years when i lost my husband we had gone through so much to be together he was my world and then he was taken away from me .I miss him so much every minute of every dayx