I am lonely and cannot imagine living without my wife who di

Please help me if you can. I tried to type into this website earlier, but evidently what I typed was lost. I am not suicidal, but I don’t want to be awake. I drink alcohol to excess.
I love nature, mathematics, physics, and blues music. And rock & roll. My wife who was my best friend and lover died almost seven years ago. I have one wonderful son who lives about 1000 miles north of me. I have no idea if this website will even post or transmit this typing to anyone else. I need human interaction. Please help me.


Hello BobbyH, I am so sorry about your loss and the situation you are in. We are all trying to understand what happened to us and why our beloved was taken from us, sometimes even without any warning or illness or after long sickness and suffering. I still try to find my way around in life without my beloved Philmore and actually, I lost my reason to live because he was my reason to carry on. I am still in shock and still waiting for counseling. It will be one year next month (Valentine’s Day) that I am on my own now and it is a horrible journey to nowhere. I hope that you will find someone who can help you with the alcohol problem and that you will find a new meaning of life. I wish you all the best. Sending love and hugs.


@BobbyH Hi and welcome to the site. It appears that you have put all of your first outpourings into the Profile Description rather than posting onto the forum, I’ve had a read and it looks as if you could do with some support. First off, this is a UK site and there will be a time difference for replies and interaction, but don’t let that put you off, even after 7 years there’s always going to be a need to discuss your loss and your grief, it never goes away. You’re posting on the site now and I hope you can find the interaction and the engagement that you’re looking for, it’s a good place, no judgement, lots of understanding. We’re all here for the same reason, we lost the ones that we love. I hope this site can help you as much as it has helped me, keep reaching out, we hear you.


Hi @BobbyH im new on here just signed on today. I lost my mum 3 years ago and miss her so much. Well I feel your pain of losing your dear wife. Do you have a social life or do you stay indoors. I’m here if you want to chat magsmc57


Dear Annaessex,

Thank you for your reply. I also wish the best for you. For all of us, one member of our couple has to die first. Just a fact. Cherish the positive memories you have. I try but
the pain is still there. You deserve to be happy again. And your reaching out to me, a stranger, says much about the kind person you are. Thank you, From BobbyH


Hi Bobby I feel for your pain having lost my soul mate and my forever Love in oct 2023 so not long ago I hate been alone and the only person I have is my Little doggie my friends are all abroad and my friends here have there own life to lead so I feel somedays I do not even want to get out of bed I know alcohol numbs the pain for a while but at the end of the day it does not help you or the fact they are not with us any more, Life is cruel sometimes and I feel there is Love out there sending you the biggest hugs and I am sure they are watching over us and some day I believe we will find happiness

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Thank you for your kind words. I do not understand how this website works: Do you
receive my reply directly, or does anyone on this site have access to my reply?
It makes no significant difference to me: Everything I type is what I feel and I am open and honest. I grew up loving my country but I now am effectively ashamed of what America has become. I am foremost a scientist and a naturalist: I love nature and all species on earth. I do not at all believe that Home sapiens, as we labeled ourselves, are any more special than any other species. Religion disgusts me. I have limited experience with other countries: Canada seems ok but way too cold. England felt home to me. But I truly love the geography, climate, animals of my native Southern US. Not the politics. Not the poor education. If I could help anyone out there in any way, I would. I am a natural teacher; one of my gifts or skills. Alcohol is killing me. When my wife and I visited England and Wales in 2005, for the Cream Reunion performance, we felt very much at home. And we helped an elderly lady and her dog. That’s the kind of people we are. Not better than others, just kind natural humans, like our other primate relatives. Evolution has been a driving interest of mine, since about the age of five. I could visit anyone with mutual interests and also welcome anyone to my place out here in the country. It truly is beautiful. I love snakes: always have. I search for them, photograph them. And I love butterflies, moths, and beetles as well as other insects. I love plants , too, but am not adept at identifying them accurately. And I love to fly fish: primarily for bass here in the US South. I am going to play guitar now, bend some strings, and hope that the coming day is good. I have limited time remaining and I would like to return some of
the gifts that I have received. Whoever reads this, have a great day, and perhaps help me, as I would help you. With all my heart, BobbyH.

I am unsure how this website (or any others really) works. If I can communicate in any way with typing or verbal words, that could help you, I will. I am essentially computer illiterate, even though I have written mathematical programs since 1973. Strange, huh? Never liked Microsoft or PC’s. Us humans are social animals and we need each other. I am an atheist scientist. Intolerance of ignorance and stupidity are one of my “character defects” according to Alcoholics Anonymous. I did not consciously choose to be an alcoholic: genetic I believe. If you or any others reading this have any mutual interests with me, then perhaps we should communicate and maybe even get together. I typed what I believe, and omitted nothing purposely of significance.
from BobbyH.

Aww Bobby enjoy your day I love all gods creatures too I will not kill anything if I can rescue it I do my little dog is my world and it has stopped me from leaving this world I love the out doors and especially the sun have a great day playing your strings and please stay of the alcohol as life is what you make it and there are many people out there who want to stay here in earth much longer big do not have a choice just like our partners so stay strong always hear to chat val x