I am so lonley and lost

I lost my wife Shirley on the 18th of October, whilst my family support me how they can I am lost and lonely and don’t seem to have any purpose to my life I stumble from day to day with no purpose, Shirley was my entire life my reason for being


Hello @Howard27 - I am so glad you posted here - you have a community of friends on here who completely understand how you are feeling. That lost and lonely ache is one we all know so well, my friend, that feeling when we wake up and when we go to sleep. You are very early on in grief, my friend and it is hard, there is no two ways about it. It is hard - that is why it is so important to be gentle and kind to yourself and to take it a bit at a time.

I am 2 years in this month and at last, I feel there is hope for the future. This strength has been about a year in the making for me, and I have seen others on here, like me, go from despair and pain, to recovery, to strength.

We don’t stop loving those we have lost but gradually, we find ways and means to cope, to stand again, to look forward.

You survived Christmas and New Year, you have made it to today - so that means you are stronger than you may feel.

Hold tight, keep posting here, you are not alone - you have all of us on here who are with you x


@Howard27 i am so sorry you are in this situation like us all . The pain of losing your partner is the hardest thing we have ever had to face . Be kind to yourself and take each hour at a time . I was terrified at first as I was so looked after . Keeping busy and setting little goals each day has kept me sane


Days get harder at the minute , like you i have experienced recent loss, my mum, 4 weeks ago. I had to fetch her ashes today and a wave of emotion hit me again and i was right back there again in floods of tears. Its so hard feeling lost and although surrounded by others i feel alone, numb and empty. Grief is the hardest thing ever, i hate the way it makes me feel. We have to focus on the fact that this isnt the way our loved one would want us to be, be strong, hold onto all your treasured memories and keep your wife alive in your heart. Wish i could magic everyones saddness away including my own. My mum told me to live each day to the full and im going to try and honour her memory by doing just that, i just need a little time first.


I lost my husband in November. I feel exactly the same. So lost, no idea how to get on with each day. It’s absolute torture.


i am so sorry for your loss,just try and take one day at a time ,

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@Howard27 hi please don’t feel you have know purpose in life everyone does even if you are grieving. Please get grief counselling it really helps I did last year after mum had been gone almost 3 years as I couldn’t move forward I was stuck on the day she died. Please :pray:t2: chat if you want to I’m here :pray:t2::heart::hugs::hugs::heart::pray:t2:

@Howard27 I can relate to sense of purpose

I nursed my partner at home through metastatic colorectal cancer and end of life

I controlled every aspect of her medications - she was on high dose oxycodone for pain - monitored doses, tracked short acting doses and timings, made sure she was getting calories her palliative doctor suggested, sponge baths, oncology appointments… and then one day it all ended
I didn’t just lose her and the grief that ensued, I lost any and every sense of structure and my very purpose

It’s difficult - quagmire - that I still haven’t got a handle on


I understand how everyone feels. I lost my husband of 40 years 6 months ago and the loneliness is one f the worst experience. I really hope that in time you feel some peace. Is this the experience that others have. I am just so so sad and miss him every day but evening is always the worst time.

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