I am struggling big time when I see things with Mum on i am find hard at moment
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It doesn’t help at all, but I feel your pain.
It’s stupid but I even struggle seeing people out shopping with older mums.
Me too i just wish my grief counselling would start because I have to wait three weeks now
Sorry to hear you’re struggling @Jenny16bean , I lost my Mam last Friday and the enormity of it comes in waves, triggered by the most unexpected things. Everyone says this, but try and look after yourself first, eat and sleep well (or as best you can) and go for a walk. It won’t make you feel any better, but will definitely stop you feeling even worse. Try and remember that your Mum wouldn’t want to see you struggling and use that as your motivation.
I know but my first mothers day without her
Which is hard right now
I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, but I’m dreading Mothers’ Day too, which will probably be just before or after the funeral once a date’s fixed. Whilst you’re waiting for your grief counsellor, keep posting on here if it helps to get things off your chest. Best wishes, it’s really hard, but you’ll find a way to get through it.
Yeah it so hard having to wait three weeks though especially when mother day is part of the wait time
Hi Jenny16 bean,
Keep posting on here as this site is a lifeline 24/7. You will make friends and have a wonderful supportive group soon. It will help you do much.
For me it saved me. Goodness knows what I would have done without it
It’s the only place I have found that people truly understand.
Thinking of you
Deborah
Yes I am struggling today with my grief because someone said that I kill my mum which isn’t true it scared me
Hi Jenny16bean,
Rise above anything anyone says or says. It’s not worth it. I know it’s hard to do but ignore silly people.
Try not to retailiate if you can bec it will probably make you feel worse. Give that person a wide berth and hopefully in time they will apologise.
I deleted a lot of people off my radar after my mum passed and 2 yrs on I still think it was the best move I ever did.
Again it’s hard to do but it’s your wellbeing that counts now so do everything to protect yourself.
It’s all raw right now so you need to time to yourself. Try going out for ten minutes somewhere where you can just have quiet moments.
I switched off from the world when it first happened. Didn’t bother with many people as I kept repeating the same thing and for me that left me drained. Anyone who upset me was blocked from my house phone and mobile. If anyone called at my house I didn’t answer the door. That way I was in my own little bubble until I could cope with people. However it’s not that simple for everyone I appreciate.
Keep going because that’s all you can do right now. Look after yourself first from now on.
Deborah
It the hard when it is so raw right now because mothers day in week i don’t know how i cope to with it
Hi Jenny16 Bean,
I know it’s very tough going. The first Mother’s day which was a month after mums funeral was also my birthday. I will never forget it.
For me I try to get through the day by making sure I still do something for mum. Like getting her a card and flowers. Then I usually use her lovely china to have an afternoon tea. This will be my 3rd mother’s day without her and it hasn’t got any easier except my birthday this year isn’t the same day.
You could just have a quiet simple day maybe a walk somewhere like a beach or nature walk . The first year I went to a beach at the village where mum was brought up. Sat in the car with her ashes and sobbed. I don’t recommend doing that. Last year I made the afternoon tea and this year I am going to do the same. Nothing special but I will use her china that she so loved.
Do whatever is best for you. I don’t watch the TV channels with adverts as this week there will be loads of adverts. Protect yourself as much as possible.
I stay away from shops too.
It’s too triggering.
I found that buying a card for her helped me as I felt lost not buying one. Some people think it’s daft but who cares. As long as it helps me then it’s ok to do.
Keep as strong as you can.
Sending love
Deborah
I still struggling with my grief which affected my confidence and self esteem now
Hi Jenny16 bean,
I suffered and am still suffering with anxiety so I know how you feel.
Try to build up your confidence slowly. Go out somewhere every day even if it’s just the garden or a five minute walk somewhere.
Make a list of what makes you anxious and avoid some of the things if at all possible. Ask a friend to go places with you so you have company.
Try listening to mindfulness music .
Plan very small steps to take each day to build up your confidence.
Hope some of these help
Deborah
I am struggling with my grief with mother Day coming this Sunday