I can’t grieve

My mum passed away jan 27 th 19 she went in for chest infection for I.vs and a few days later … died … due to her Bowles … I was with her when she took her last breath. as all my other brothers and sisters sitting in the relatives room … waiting…it was a heart wrenching few days knowing that none of us could do anything to help her …it been a hard few mths of me not knowing if I’m coming or going every thing is a fog I can’t except she gone . Mum should still be here…I can’t cry ,I feel so numb … my memory of mum in my head is how she deteriorated so quick… the shaking and finding it hard for to talk … I see these in my head every night before I try to sleep … sleep is really a no go … I haven’t slept properly since this all begun … I feel so empty my heart aches everyday …

Hi Shez,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your mum. From what you have written, I think that you are definitely grieving. Grief can take different forms for everyone, but it doesn’t always have to mean crying. The numbness, feeling in a fog, re-playing bad memories, and problems sleeping are very normal parts of grief that a lot of people experience. You might find it helpful to have a look at this information page, which talks about some of the common reactions that you may have, and how to cope: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/someone-close-to-me-has-died/advice-and-support/how-can-i-cope-with-bereavement

Now is a time to be really kind to yourself and try to take things day by day. It’s important to have outlets for your feelings, whether by talking to people around you, such as your brothers and sisters, or by writing things down here on the site. You are among people who understand here.

You might find it helpful to read these recent posts by others who were worried that they were not grieving, or not grieving in the right way.

Phoebeuk wrote this post: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-bereavement/i’m-not-sad-enough
Doug wrote this post: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-bereavement/wife-died-last-july-father-died-last-december-dog-died-january-why-am-i