I cannot sleep I wake up at 3 am

I keep waking up around 3 in the morning all of the details of my wife’s death are going through my head, I accept that I could not have prevented it and must accept it.
But then I keep thinking that life is not worth the hassle anymore, I have no purpose in life, so why bother with it
I am completely bored with nothing to do


Hi Peter
I’m so sorry reading your post. Waking up at 3 am is the worst thing and having all the details of that horrible event go around in your head is soul destroying. I often have similar feelings. My husband died November 2020 after an accident and 7 weeks in hospital where he caught Covid. I keep thinking I should have done better and the NHS should have done better. It’s no good going over it we all know but maybe you need to have counselling on a one to one as talking it out may help you. My brother lives in France and he lost his wife in 2013 he says the French say you must ‘empty your sac’ of grief before you can move on, in other words do a lot of crying and grieving. Being bored is not good as you will keep thinking negative thoughts. Maybe force yourself to take up a new interest. We all have to continue living.
much love

it is HARD.

do you have anything you like to do? it is so easy to forget that time passes for us too.

one day, you and I will both die. before we die, we will wish we did what we wanted while we could.

when it is over, it is over. sad, but true.

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