I can't cope without him

Losing a sibling
1

I’m going to cut it as short as I possibly can in the Hope’s of getting some support.

I lost my big brother in july, he practically raised me along side my dad, my dad had a host of heart problems when I was a baby and ended up having a heart transplant. My bro stepped up and looked after us while our dad was in and out of hospital, and eventually when my dad passed away when I was almost 15, he had me and my other siblings move in with him and his own family.
He was like a second dad to me for many years, he got cancer and died in July and I just dont know how to function anymore. I just keep seeing his poorly face in my head every day, I miss him terribly. I miss our chats about dad and all the jokes he used to tell. I miss it all :frowning:
I have 2 kids I put a brave face on for, but each day gets harder. I dont feel supported by anyone, I just want to cry all the time and I’m holding it in because I’m NEVER without my kids, I can barely function and it takes me hours after getting up to do anything because I have no motivation . People stopped asking how I am after a few days of his death and its tearing me up that I support everyone with everything and I dont get any back. I am on the verge of telling people how angry I am because they just stopped caring while I carried on grieving alone in silence. Nobody understands. I have to wait till my family is asleep before I let myself cry. I cry for my dad and my brother at once, dad has been gone 21 years now but since my brother passed away it feels so raw again . I dont know what to do, I want to be the fun mum i used to be but I just dont know how to function anymore. Please help me :cold_sweat: xxx

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2

Hello Misunderstood4,

I’m so sorry to hear about your brother, it must be so hard to lose a second father figure. It sounds as though things are very tough at the moment and you are feeling overwhelmed.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

Another good source of support services which may be available in your area can be your GP.

Take care,
Hazel
Online Community team

3

I completely understand you. I lost my brother month ago and he was my only family. I did not even get to say goodbye. My body aches and I cry every now and then but I also have two kids for who I have to put a brave front. I am so lost and numb. Hugs to you.

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