I am soo confused Simon got himself a cockopoo puppy when his Cancer journey 2 and half years ago he got him out of bed everyday through chemotherapy after surgery in pain they were inseparable. When he was in hospice he was worried about his 2 year old puppy he knew I have never had a dog and didn’t have a bond even asked doctors can I just pop home to groom my puppy to help my wife he knew I had no idea but every time he said if you can’t cope you can re home in obviously I always said no be daft I promise I will look after him just relax. He said please do me a favour and bring him after I have died so he has closure but I couldn’t I was hysterical and my lift home was 30 minutes away and just wanted to get away after I said goodbye the problem I have he is a velcro dog I can’t wee or go anywhere sits in front when I eat and get aggressive to a couple of dogs but my confidence was getting better even though I feel I need a break sometime from him but yesterday he snaps and turned showed his teeth at my little great niece as I grapped his collar to put him outside he turned and went for me it knocked me and I cried last night saying to Simon I can’t do this then as normal showered this morning ready for new day window cleaner came through house he has fussed many times when the dog ran to him he bent down to stroke and he turned on him I have just been sobbing hard asking Simon wherever you are what do I do I can’t do this anymore I can’t cope I just want my husband he would know what to do I know he used to say if you bite mummy you will have to go is he being possessive because Simon isn’t here
Hi @Maxandlala2
I’m sorry to hear about your dog and how he’s behaving at the moment. It may be helpful to speak with Dogs Trust, which has a behaviour support helpline. You can find out more on their website at Our behaviour services | Dogs Trust
Take good care,
Naoise
take him to a shelter and asap. no dog would be in my house if they started being aggressive.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but to be fair to your dog he’s had a massive change to his life too and he is scared. He obviously had a very strong bond with your husband and is now looking to you for reassurance. You clearly don’t feel the same about the dog, and that’s okay, not everyone likes dogs, and you shouldn’t feel obliged to keep him, it’s not really fair on either of you. So you need to re-home him, in my opinion, asap, before his behaviour gets worse. If you don’t know of anyone who will take him, contact one of your local rehoming centres. Your dog needs a lot of care and attention right now, much like you do too. Once your dog is rehomed you can focus on looking after yourself.
Good luck x
Dont forget that your dog will be much happier if rehomed to another owner, so you would be doing a kindness. Cockerpoos aren’t the easiest dog to live with, especially if you aren’t a “doggie person “ so you shouldn’t regret anything.
I’ve just thought (again), my wife had two little dogs, and when she died I made her a promise that I would spare no effort to make sure no effort or cost would be spared to make sure the rest of their lives would be as happy as possible. There was no commitment to keep them with me until they die, I might become infirm, or die, but my commitment was to do my best in the circumstances.
As it turns out, they have been fantastic support to me, so moving them on never became an issue.
If I die before them, it’s in my will that my wife’s cousin will take responsibility for them, but it’s clear that she would not commit to keeping them (who knows what might be her circumstances at the time). If that’s not possible she will find them the bestest home together she could find.
I’m sure the gist of your promise to your husband could be interpreted in that way. He would not want it to be a burden for you, would he.
Hi @Maxandlala2
Sorry you are going through losing your husband. It sounds really difficult trying to get through this and trying to do the best for the dog too. My heart goes out to you. If you think you need to rehome the dog I advise you to contact a reputable rescue such as The Dogs Trust who are experienced at helping dogs who have difficulties and will work with the dog and find the right home. Good luck whatever you decide and take care of yourself as best as possible x
Hello
I have had dogs for many years and I know most Poodle derivatives are very similar in their ways.
Do not for one minute think that the dog doesn’t feel grief too, perhaps not as we do but they are so intelligent that you might give him time to adapt.
I wouldn’t push him away, he needs someone to love him like your husband did, maybe he might benefit from having someone mature to take him for a walk, they do love that.
Male dogs are often protective of the women in their lives, their home and toys.
It doesn’t always seem obvious but just give him a little more time to adjust.
Kind regards R
RobinW
Thankyou I think you are right he is protecting me and I think because I am crying all the time he sense it the people he turned on were strangers to him and he is without doubt a mans dog he is amazing for my son in law and grandkids. I WALK him and say out loud now I am in charge I am the boss and try to keep feelings of upset away from him. Simon was soo in love with him he wanted me to bring him to hospice when he died but because the death was horrific and long and hospicewas 40 miles away when he died after kissing him I needed to run and had to wait for a lift Simon told me it would give Hugo closure just wish I could have carried out wish maybe he wouldn’t still be waiting for him
Hello again is Max your name?
Thank you for your reply.
I think that you are right about the closure for him. If it helps you, try to see things from the side where he sits, he wants to be the Alpha male and he will respond to you and as he sees things he must protect you.
If you see someone who is able to help you to train him, Poodle breeds are one of the most intelligent dogs, and like most guard dogs they respond to training so believe it or not he will come to regard you as the boss and it will bring his sharpened protection attitude down a little, so he will let you know when someone is walking up your drive, he will also have a better attention than you have and even be able to aid your perception of character in strangers.
You will become his focus and friend, I am sure of that if you want it, and believe it or not he will be your link to Simon, he will love you unconditionally.
I hope that this helps you, as he feels the same as you do at the moment.
I am convinced that he needs you at the moment too, he is just confused, frightened and doesn’t want any more loss, just like you.
Kindest regards
R.
Thankyou soo much for your advice it really has helped and has made me look at Hugo differently we are grieving together and yes he is very good on walks training him to sit at every kerb the sit command works well thankyou for your kind words I know Simon would be proud of me just need to learn confidence
I’m pleased to hear that you and Hugo are getting to understand each other.
Just keep your commands short, Yes, No, Sit etc.
Talk to him as if he is an equal, love him as Simon did.
You can pour out your heart to him and he will listen to every word, if you don’t believe that just look into his eyes when you are talking to him.
Remember to take a pocket full of his little favourite biscuits on walks and give him a treat when he does what you say or obeys your command.
I hope you will learn the language of dogs, they can be your best friend without asking anything in return, you can scold him on your way out and when you get back he will always be pleased to see you.
Good luck with your future. R.
Thankyou for your good advice people have thrown soo much advice but you are the only one that has given me my confidence back I guess I was finding it hard because I couldn’t even look after myself never mind Hugo but already can see a difference the only one think I would ask as I value your opinion should I have him castrated would that calm him towards some dogs x
I would say that it will calm him down in many respects.
Ask your vet for a full answer, I had two poodles together and one always was by my wife’s side, he was very much the dominant one of the two.
We had him neutered and he did become less snappy with strangers, he was still very protective of my wife, which I found to be a nice feature.
It always impressed me how they sense nice people though as if they have a premonition about people’s character, they are rarely wrong.
In general if you think that he is too aggressive then ask a vet, they see a lot of animals, I have seen quite a few dog programs on the tv series and some of the experts work wonders with the people’s pets and turn their lives around.
Overall I am guessing that he will calm down with your love and affection and show you a different side to his character once he works out that you are his best friend.
Please feel free to let me know how things go in a couple of months as my guess is that you will gel with Hugo and would not want to be without him.
While he is still a bit on the sharp side do tell others not to reach out for him and that they should sit down and ignore him, once they do that he will investigate them in his own time and when he is comfortable then he will make the move to be friendly, just ask people not to try to pet him.
Best wishes R.
Just a note to say thankyou for your kindness