my dad had pulmonary fibrosis and deteriorated rapidly from July, he was put on oxygen 24 hours a day and was told he was dying, me and my brother and sister weren’t told because he didn’t want to upset us, I only found out 4 days before he died as he kept being put into hospital for infections due to him having no immune system, we got told he had 2-3 months to live on the Wednesday and i took leave from my work to care and spend time with him but i didnt get the chance to spend ot with him as he was dead on Thursday, my dad’s only chance of survival was a lung transplant which he should have been referred for laat year but the doctors misdiagnosed him with another disease and didn’t refer him in time, my dad knew there was no hope and was in pain and struggling to breathe every day so on the thursday he passed away, i was there holding his hand as he done so, was the most gut wrenching moment of my life, my dad was one of the bravest, strongest people i had ever known and being in hospital with him and watching him make the decision to end his life and being scared about it has scarred me, me and my dad had a volatile relationship over the years and had gotten really close in the last 5 years and i cant deal with the overwhelming regret of all that time i lost out on with him and how that must of hurt him, i can’t believe he is gone.
Hello @Kayls1989,
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds as though the end was very traumatic for you and you’re struggling a lot with regrets. You are not alone - sadly, many of our members will understand some of what you’re going through right now.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.
Take care - keep reaching out,
Seaneen
I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sure that the important thing for your dad was that he had a close relationship with you for the last 5 years. That would have made up for any problems before then. The important thing is that you had those 5 years together. He would, I am absolutely sure, be very grateful for that.