My wife Bronwyn died suddenly 8 weeks ago and it’s been tough. Last week I thought I was making some progress but then I was hit by the overwhelming grief and couldn’t stop crying.
I had her pictures all over the place and every time I saw her beautiful face it tore me to bits, in the end, I’ve had to pack them away in a drawer and it seems to be helping. I love her very much but at this moment in time I can’t bear to see the life we had before, her smiling face and her radiance, they still live on my heart and hopefully, when I move forward I’ll be able to look at her again without being reduced to a wreck.
I felt guilty doing it but I have to think of my emotional wellbeing, she’d want that.
HI Chaz.I am sure there will be others who have done this and I am one of them. I could not bear to look at my Ron’s photos especially holiday photos because I could not accept that all I had left of my cherished husband was his ashes and I could not look at them either because it just re enforces my grief. It is nearly two years since Ron died and I am now forcing myself to look at them in order to move forward. Everyone grieves in a different way. Some people get great comfort from photo’s or items of clothing but to some it is overwhelming and makes the process of grieving much worse. One day I am sure our photo’s will bring us comfort and lovely memories but your grief is very raw so please do not feel that your actions are not normal. Remember your lovely wife in the way you wish and In the coming months you might feel able to put one photo up as I have. My thoughts are with you and there are lots of lovely people here who will listen to you at any time.
Hi Chaz, good to hear from you again. I’m just a few weeks ahead of you on this undesirable journey and when my wife died I printed several photos and framed them. In the beginning they gave me some comfort but in recent weeks I have had to remove them as they were just another trigger and caused many outbursts of tears. I also feel guilty about removing them but I hope that one day I’ll be able to look at them again with pride and happiness, however, at the moment that day seems a long time away.
Take care, AL
Hi AL, good to hear from you again. It hit me this week and I slumped ibto a really desperate state, everywhere I looked my beautiful wife was smiling and I so wanted her to be here, i was a sobbing wreck and my friend say “its early days, time will heal” and they go back to their homes and partners. I dont want to be told time will heal, it doesnt help at all. I had to put her pictures away and her shoes that were under the sideboard as if she’d just taken them off. I had to try and and ease the pain, so her photos are in the drawer for now. Hopefully one day I’ll be able look at her and not wish we could have swapped places, I always told her I wanted to go first as I wouldnt cope.
Hi Chaz and others. Thanks for putting your feelings on here. I’m 7 weeks down the road and I printed lots of photos on top of the ones we already had up. My Allison love photography and there was always photo frames. I sit looking at them with her smiling which unlike to see but it hurts so much knowing every thing is in the past. 53 was just too young thanks to our GP getting it so so wrong. I sit at night with the TV on but only a candle lit. I don’t put the light on. I’m usually in bed by 9 and taken sleeping tablets as I weep myself to sleep.
My wife passed away nearly 7 months ago. I have loads of photos of her in my living room at Least 10 .I take: photos of her when I go to bed and put them on my side table every night. I kiss all of her photos every night and every morning. My family think this could be making my grief worse They also think I visit her at the garden of remembrance to much. Will I always be like this I can’t imagine taking photos down as would feel like I was forgetting her.
Just joined Bailey reading your post is the same I mean Tina 15.12.23 battle leukaemia for year struggling to go on every night kid the photo and every night touch the box were Tina ashes are saying l love you to the moon an back empty house empty everything yesterday got 3 bird tables put up with in minute a robin was on one sat there just looked at me I hope this was tina angel I did not move just watching miss you Tina every second that goes bye
I’m the same 15.12.23 can’t put nothing away clothes bathroom stuff make up it’s still we’re Tina left it kiss the picture morning an night some days I’m okish the next a wreck life cruel miss Tina x
It’s horrible mate the grief just hits you out of nowhere like a tidal wave it’s like that everyday. People say small baby steps it will get better but its still a as painful and raw 7 months on
That’s what they say small steps go forward 10 then 50 back I get up talking to Tina saying going to put bathroom stuff away in to box I go in an can’t touch it why arrr going to get help at the hospice this week I think just to talk I don’t no