I can't see a future for me without him

My name is holly and i’m 34 my fiance Chris who was only 37 passed away 04/01/23 only 30 days ago. I wont go into detail but lets just say it was very unexpected.

The pain i am in is unbearable. The emotional pain is bad but the physical pain is worse. It is like my heart is trying to reach out of my chest to him.

I have a lot of support and am spending a lot of time with his family it makes me feel closer to him. Being in the house is also hard because i can visualise him everywhere.

I know i have to carry on for our two children who are 16 and 14 but im angry at the world and spend most of the time sitting on the sofa staring into space.

How do i move on without him?


Hello @Hollyh11,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your fiancé that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

So sorry for your loss. My partner passed away at the start of December, we are still without a cause (he was only in his 20s so we are really struggling with not knowing how he suddenly died) but I completely get your feelings of not being able to continue. Similarly to you, I go round to his parents house daily - I get a lot of comfort being around them as none of my friends or family can really understand what I am going through.

I’ve found I’ve reached a point where I can have good days (some days I don’t even cry at all anymore) but then other days are as though he died yesterday.

We sadly never got round to having children, it had been discussed but we both agreed we wanted to wait until we were older - I would do anything now to have his children so a part of him could still be alive and with me.

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@Hollyh11 I’m so terribly sorry to read of the tragic death of your fiancé, It is almost impossible to offer any words of sympathy but every member of this group will understand what you and your two children are going through. It is a pain both emotional and physical and one has to have gone through it to understand.

Take one day at a time and try to keep busy, it won’t take the pain or the loss away but it will distract from it.

Some people keep a diary where they write their thoughts and feelings; I text my late wife; the message doesn’t travel far, since her phone is within sight of me but it gives me peace to tell her the things I wish I’d told her when she was alive.

I sincerely wish you solace from your pain.

@Hollyh11 & @Ellxox
I’m so sorry to hear of you tragic loss of ones so young. Nothing anyone can say will make it easier but know that you are among friends here, who have all lost their soulmate.

It is nine months since I lost my darling husband and each day is different in how I cope with it. There is no pattern to grief but there are similarities between our emotions so others will understand.
Sending love to you both. xxx

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Hi Holly I lost my partner 9 weeks ago I’m still grieving I usually talk to his photos I managed to take some before he died I got lovely frames for them and have them in living room I have his ashes here but haven’t scattered them yet I still have a lot of his clothes in the wardrobe I feel if I get rid of them I’m getting rid of him but there’s no hurry for anything you have your cry I do something set me off on train the other day you just don’t know when or where it will happen love to you c

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Oh holly im so sorry for you. Its a terrible thing is grief isnt it ? It completely takes over your life. I lost my husband just before xmas and its such a shock isnt it ! You just cant believe they are gone ! Just like that ! How can it be that the man you loved just isnt there anymore ? I keep waking up seeing visions of him walking about the house or dreaming hes talking to me.
Interesting you are getting more comfort from his family rather than your own !