I can't stop crying

My son died in February, it was sudden, he passed in his sleep, I can’t stop crying, I get angry all the time and my heart feels like it so broken. How do others get through this?

Hi Annie. I lost my beautiful partner Danny seven weeks ago. I miss him so much. The only thing I can imagine worse than losing a soul mate is losing a child. My heart goes out to you.

1 Like

To Annie MCG.I don’t know how we will ever get through this.yesterday was a truly horrendous day for me.I can only surmise that some days may be worse than others.I have a bereavement counsellor I see once a month.and because my darling girl died through a medical misdiagnosis.my counsellor suggested I write the whole terrible story down on nine pages of paper.to send to the media?don’t now know if I will.I think writing it all down like I have as resurrected all the pain.reopened gaping wounds.that’s why I was worse than ever yesterday.sincerest regards hugs to you.Annie.annettexxxx.

1 Like

Dear Annie
My 24 year old son was killed in a accident in May of this year so I am going through this nightmare too, Everyday is difficult. I force myself to dress, go out and in 2 weeks I return to work, the thought of which terrifies me, I have amazing friends but after spending time with people I am utterly exhausted and just want to be alone. My life is unfamiliar to me, its like I am living another persons life now. I have 2 other younger children and I doubt if it wasn’t for them I might have just laid down and died, but they and my husband need me and my son would be so angry with me for just thinking this way.
I have counselling every week which does help me to express how I feel but sometimes I feel completly alone,
Are you getting any help?
I am not sure that I am getting through this, when people ask how I am I just say I am functioning and exsisiting, more than that is too much to ask for at the moment.
Talke care
Janet

1 Like

I lost my husband of 39 years very suddenly. I cry at night but force myself to go to work every day. I feel cheated and robbed of our retirement. I feel jealous of couples who retire together and have wonderful plans which we didn’t get. Life’s a bitch.

Hi Eve I also lost my husband suddenly six years ago and it is AWFUL. But I console myself (most of the time) with the knowledge that he was my soulmate absolutely and there are so many couples around that are just existing together, treat each other abysmally and that, quite frankly isn’t living. I know it’s little consolation but I know from my perspective we had a great love. But yes, you’re right, life is a bitch.

1 Like

I lost my son in law and husband suddenly last year. I have now lost my daughter few weeks ago! she was diagnosed with mnd couple of years ago but apart from losing her voice she seemed to be ok , then she got chest infection and just passed away in days! I try to keep busy and have good friends,but sometimes the grief wells up out of nowhere!

Hello Everyone and pleased to meet you all. I’m new on here and in my sadness searched the web for a forum like this with whom I can share the despair and sorrow I’m feeling having lost my husband suddenly at the age of 55 4 weeks ago, which has left me berift, not wanting to live, crying daily, not wanting to go to bed each night as the moment I awake the reality that I no longer have him frightens me so much that the panic attacks kick in. I can’t look at a photograph of him without filling up and my heart beating fast.

I realise I am grieving, I’ve lost both parents, but this grief is different and something I’ve never experienced before. I live alone and have no children and selfishly feel that I am more disadvantaged because of this.

Like others who have commented on here I feel cheated in that I have lost my husband at such an early age. Retirement in the future cannot be looked forward to anymore. I feel guilty in having bad feelings when I see elderly couples holding hands with each other when I will never again be able to hold my husband’ hand. Please tell me I’m not being selfish.

Hi May, I’m sorry you lost your husband. You are not being selfish! I lost my husband 4 months ago today. He was 50 and I 42. I feel cheated and angry at other couples who still have a future. I try to take comfort in the fact that i got to spend 24 wonderful years with my soulmate that nobody can take away from me. Going to bed is still the worst for me. I did wake in a panic in the early weeks but this has passed for now. Dont judge yourself and try to be kind to yourself. X

1 Like

Hi May, I am so sorry to hear your awful news. I too lost my husband six years ago but it was sudden, we went out on our bikes together but I came back that night alone. Yes, it is tragic. I too have had the panic attacks which are so frightening, but it WILL get better believe me. We didn’t have any children either. I have got good friends, but unless someone has been through exactly this, then they will not understand. You are NOT being selfish. All the feelings you are having are ‘normal’. I have certainly felt ‘all of the above’. Please keep writing, it somehow helps to know there are others out there experiencing the same. You are not alone. XX

1 Like

Hi May, I am so sorry to hear your awful news. I too lost my husband six years ago but it was sudden, we went out on our bikes together but I came back that night alone. Yes, it is tragic. I too have had the panic attacks which are so frightening, but it WILL get better believe me. We didn’t have any children either. I have got good friends, but unless someone has been through exactly this, then they will not understand. You are NOT being selfish. All the feelings you are having are ‘normal’. I have certainly felt ‘all of the above’. Please keep writing, it somehow helps to know there are others out there experiencing the same. You are not alone. XX

Hi Jan
Sorry for the late reply and thanks for replying to me.
I’m so sorry for your loss I truly am and only a mother will know how it feels to lose their child.
I’m up and down since my son died, I spoke to him on the Tuesday he was found dead Wednesday, I knew that day my life would never be the same. I sometimes feel like a zombie and my life has stopped, I’m 47 and sometimes don’t see the point in living!
I totally understand how you feel, people say to me,’ you look well’ but it’s inside that is empty and I also want to be on my own.
Life is a battle for us but somehow we must try to get through it
Much love
Annie x

Dear Annie
Thank you for your reply. It is so sad that we have had to meet like this, everyone here is so supportive but I wish I did not have to know about this site and that my son was still with us, but he isn’t and here I am.
I am now back at work on a part time basis. I only work mornings but to be honest this is enough for me and I am always grateful to come home. People say I look well, a strange thing to say as I always think compared to what? I go through my life and have built up routines to help me cope. everyday has moments of despair and disbelief, but I have gradually began to accept that this painful exsistnace is now my life, I hate it , but it is now my life.
I know I will see my beautiful son again and I know that in the meantime he would want me to carry on, but that is easy said than done. I lost my mum 11 months before my son died and although that was stressful and horrific, I knew she was going to die but nothing in the world could have prepared me for the pain of losing my child, I would say that the pain of losing my mum was bearable because you know that your parents are meant to die before you, but losing a child must surely be the hardest grief to bare, but maybe grief is grief, all I know is the more a person is loved the more they are missed and I miss my son so much and I know you miss your child too.
We will go on, we have no choice, but now I live for Jacob too, because that is what he would want, what he does want.
Take care
Janet

So many of us are grieving and i dont feel angry or cheated st losing my husband after 51 years wedded. I do feel biter at times and feel he dudnt deservve to die he was a good man and a father to iur two sons. I feel he was cheated as he had so much to give us all on earth. Someone adked ne jf i was angry about losing him and leaving on ny iwn to cope.snd i said No! I loved him. How can i feel angry with him…i feel hurt and devasted not angry

Please excuse my typos… i am using my phone and typing without my pen is a problem

Misty1

Yes, I agree. I have never felt that anger that people talk about. Never.
xx

Thats good Sheila. To harbour anger along with all the heartbreak and grief is not good, is it? By coming on here and sharing my feelings has been comforting to me and i do hope that some modicum of comfort is gained by reading all our posts.

Misty1 xx

Sorry Annette Louise my last post is for you!

Hello Misty no problem! Thank you for that. Yes, I wish I had found this site six years ago to be honest. It is very comforting (although extremely sad) to read about the experiences of others, as when something like this happens in your life, you really do feel that you are alone (even if you have good support from family and friends). XX

Thank you for your reply Annette-Louise I very much appreciate it. I’m also sorry you lost your husband without any warning also. Yes, friends have good ears and listen to our tales of woe but unless they have been through the same experience I don’t think they fully comprehend the hurt we have and no doubt have for years to come. I agree that by writing our feelings down helps with the grieving process. Xx

Back to top