I lost my Mum 4 weeks ago to cancer. Unfortunately, by the time they diagnosed her in April, she was terminal. We were told she had 6 months without treatment, but as luck wasn’t on our side either, she was too late to have chemo. 3 days after being told she couldn’t have chemo, she passed away at home. I think that news killed her.
I’d cared for her the weeks leading up to her passing and I didn’t even notice the signs of her wanting to go. It kills me thinking about all the things I could have done to make her more comfortable. I was fortunate to have my sisters, there when she passed but it still hurts thinking that I had to physically be sat behind her in the bed so she could breathe because the paramedics couldn’t get out for 4 hours to give her oxygen.
I’ve wrote letters to her to see if being able to communicate with her somehow helps, but it just makes me feel worse. I think it’s because I know she’ll never write back.
I know others are in the same boat, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.
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I could’ve wrote this myself. I’m so sorry for your loss. I too cared for my mum and was with her when she passed. The Dr had given my mum morphine by the time I arrived, she was trying to tell me something but couldnt. I don’t think that day will ever leave my mind. Xx
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