7 weeks ago today my husband, who was 52, died suddenly and unexpectedly at home (heart attack). My 14 year old son was woken to me screaming and performing CPR on him. I cry every single day and I can’t see this ever stopping. Every day doesn’t feel rigbt anymore and I know it will always be different, I just want time to fast forward. It is my son’s 15th birthday on Saturday and his dad should be here. Another first I am dreading.
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@Lost1975 I feel your pain, I lost my fiance on the 19th may at 48 years of age to a sudden heart attack too, my 21 year old son tried to give him CPR but it was too late 
I am so sorry for your struggle, I was exactly the same, it felt like I couldn’t go on, I have now come to accept he’s gone and as much as I’d give anything to, I can’t change that, it’s a struggle everyday, but I get up and I tell myself it will be ok eventually because it has to be, we are the ones left in pain and only we can try and ease that, I really hope you find that peace very soon xxx
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Thank you, your words really help as those around me try to understand how I am feeling and they admit they can’t as haven’t been rhrough what we have had to deal with. Im off work at the moment and I keep thinking I wont be able to go back but I know I will need to at some point
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I took 2 months bereavement leave and to be honest I was glad to be going back, just to have some sort of routine back again, unfortunately I’ve been poorly for a few weeks so I haven’t made it back yet but I fully intend to, for me it’s important to try and carry on with my “new normal” I had such dark days In the beginning, it really scared me, then I woke up one day and realised I had to go on, I had to have a life without him I still feel the loss everyday, but I’ve learnt to occupy my thoughts with other things and focus my pain, you will get there lovey 
xx
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@Lost1975 So sorry for your loss. A sudden death is such a massive shock and takes a long time to process.
6 months ago my boyfriend died in the street 10 minutes after he left me to do a job. My short term memory is shot, to this day I can’t recall what I’ve had for lunch today or what I did yesterday. I think it’s my brain’s way of protecting me somehow. I am also SO physically shattered and find myself having to sit and lie down a lot during the day. I do keep going in other ways, house tidy, I take care of myself, even starting a new business venture, etc.
People who haven’t had such a shock, and the loss that comes with it, could not possibly understand, so you have come to the right place on here. Delve into other’s posts and you will see that you are not alone.
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So sorry for your loss
My husband age 58 had a cardiac arrest July 23 at home. I tried to save him.
The paramedics & medics tried to save him
It was futile.
As a nurse, I thought I’d be able to get him back….I will forever feel guilty for not doing better.
I said goodbye to him in the floor of our downstairs toilet as they took off the automatic CPR machine & removed the intubation.
That memory is imprinted on my mind.
I can only hope that he knew nothing about it & it was quick & pain free🤞🏻
You will move on…it’s not easy…
No choice really🤷🏼♀️
Sending loving vibes to you x
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@Thefurkids my husband also had a heart attack and fell on the downstairs toilet floor. I know what you mean when you say you feel guilt because you couldn’t save him as I also feel that. I hate using that room now and always replay what happened when I do. Sending you strength
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Thinking of you🙏🏻
The suddenness of it, is what hurts the most….no time to say a proper goodbye…
Although I held him for hours afterwards whilst he was still warm & just poured out my feelings…
He was the best🤷🏼♀️
I doubt I’ll ever meet anyone like him again…
Some people have hurt me since he died but I have just let those people fade away…
I am worth way more than people taking advantage of me😊
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So sorry for you and your sons loss.
I lost my husband 3 months yesterday.
I have lost siblings and this loss of my husband of 42 years is like no other…he was 61 with MS for 26 years.
I know we will eventually get invtop of this, but if you want to have a good cry then do. It always makes me feel a bit better.
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