My husband died unexpectedly on 25th June and he would never discuss what he wanted for a service only that he wanted to be cremated and his ashes scattered.
I found a lovely well established undertaker that had converted an old maternity hospital (where my husband was born) into a Victorian funeral home where you could have a service to say your farewells and for an unattended cremation to take place the following day. This sounded to me like a great way to say goodbye and that while his cremation was taking place we would have a family lunch to celebrate his life.
The service went so well I couldn’t have wished for anything better lots of tributes and photos and my husband’s favourite songs were played. It was just simply beautiful.
The lunch the following day was a different story. Oh it went well but for me it was just too much too soon. It was very difficult not to breakdown and in the end I had to leave and go home to bed.
I think my husband would have loved what I did, I certainly hope so but now I have to start living in the real world again without him.
That sounds lovely,very personal to you both .I did it my way too.I arranged it myself the crematorium service the flowers were roses I cut from our garden that he had planted for me .Then I invited everyone back and my house for a buffet and drinks no idea how many people would come .I was hoping everyone would be gone by 3 pm so I could just go to bed and fall apart but we were still going strong at 7 and all agreed it had been a beautiful day my house was rammed with people who didn’t know each other but soon introduced themselves and the conversation just kept flowing very informal and he would have loved it.You take care of yourself now after the funeral is very flat and reality kicks in then.
My husband left written instructions with his will.
It was an unattended cremation and scattering of ashes. No family meet ups.
It was what he wanted. Not sure how I feel about it.
I know which rose bed at the crematorium his ashes are scattered. I visited the next day and had a sit down and a think.
He always said funerals were for the living and he didn’t want one.
What else could I do? I did it his way.
Xx
@Bernipops I think your husband would have loved what you did, you made his passing personal to him. I did the same when my mum died. My dad passed away when I was 3yrs old, when he was buried, my mum who was 24yrs old at the time, bought a double plot.
49yrs later, she passed away. I made sure that the ceremony was in the same church that she had my dads in, she was buried in the same plot and it was the same day he was buried, just 49yrs later.
It was just a little touch, but one I would hope she appreciated.
Its the little things that matter sometimes x
My husband was the same he had a pure cremation funeral. Although i picked a red rose and flower to top his coffin. We had both lost previous partners and he said that funerals are awful days. Like yourselves we plan to celebrate his life later in the year when i know i can handle it better. It will be 5 weeks tomorrow andbi am a total mess. Love n hugs to you all . Xxxx