I lost my mother suddenly 2 weeks ago and I still don’t feel anything. I feel as though nothing has happened and I’m just on half term from school, doing whatever I want. I only seem to get sad when I see my dad getting upset and this is making me feel guilty because everyone else seems to be so affected by it and I just don’t feel that bothered. We haven’t be able to have a funeral yet either due to complications with the Coroner so we’re just waiting around all the time and I just feel bored all the time. I want to do things but at the same time I feel guilty for wanting to do things because it’s clear no one else is in the mood to do so.
I loved my mother a lot despite all the differences we had so why am I not feeling anything?
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Hello @Anon13,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you’re not feeling anything after the loss of your mother. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of someone close to them so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Lizzie
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I’m so sorry for you loss @Anon13 . It sounds as though you’re in denial or shock over how suddenly this happened to your Mum. Everyone deals with a loss differently and that’s “normal” too. Have you been able to speak to friends or family about why you’re feeling like you do right now?
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@Anon13 grief is a strange experience with a limitless timeline. For whatever reason perhaps you haven’t fully realised the loss properly? Everyone responds in their own way so there are no rules or expectations. Shock can make us behave in different ways too. Grief is not all about crying and feeling sad, it covers the full spectrum of emotions. Just go with how you feel, don’t feel pressured to pretend or mask your emotions as that won’t help you in the long run. Best wishes, take care xx
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I’ve tried to talk to my brother about it but he keeps on making it about him and he had a more ‘special’ bond with her so he’s not really listening. My dad just says it will eventually hit and when it does, he’ll be here for me but I don’t think he understands that I feel guilty about not feeling anything because it just makes me feel like I don’t care about her. My friends have said it’s different for everyone but they can’t really relate to anything like this as we’re all relatively young ( around 17-18) and they’ve never lost anyone yet (thank god) and they don’t know what to say.
I think I could still be in denial or shock but I’m just blocking it all out I think. Like anytime I remotely think about anything to do with her I immediately stop myself and distract myself. Is this likely to be bad for the long run or be considered unhealthy or is this also ‘normal’? Sorry for all the questions and long response
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@Anon13 it definitely sounds like a shock response. I’m sad for you that you’re having to deal with such a huge loss at a young age. I’m hoping there are plenty of friends and relatives to support you as realisation dawns. Guilt is a big part of grief, we worry about things we did or didn’t do as well as how we respond to situations. It’s all completely normal. You’ll travel this journey in your own way and in your own time. Sending you courage and best wishes as you navigate through this difficult time.xx