My mum was my best friend, we spoke every single day and night and she chatted with her grandson too who both adored each other ( he’s 2.5 years old) Last month I called my brother just for general chitchat, and he mentioned “ did you know the Vice Presidents plane has gone missing” and my heat stopped because I knew mum was on that plane accompanying him as she worked for him) my poor brother had no idea mum was on the flight. What ensued was a very painful 24 hours where they couldn’t locate the plane ( despite Malawi being a small country) I have no words to explain those moments, she lives in Malawi and we’re here in UK. It was confirmed late next morning that they found the plane and all on board perished. Turns out my mother had written a letter on what she wants upon her death, down to the choir she wanted to sing, caterers, wreaths ect. I can write so much but I guess I just want to know how do you continue, the only reason I am still alive today is because of my son, and mum knew that cause when he was born she kept mentioning how happy she was that I have someone to live for, we were like sisters, now I feel completely alone. I am just living on this earth waiting to die.
Hi @Edna
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your mum that brings you here. It sounds like things are really tough right now and you are feeling very overwhelmed.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I also wanted to share some resources with you to encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
- Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about your grief or about anything.
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support, and I also hope you feel that you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for starting this thread – please keep reaching out and know you are not alone 
Take care,
Kate
Sue Ryder Online Community team
Oh @Edna
I’m so sorry for your loss
I know just how hard it is for you. We all do on this site.
You will learn to cope and carry on. You have to for your son. And for yourself.
You’ve just to take it day by day and eventually you will realise you are coping.
It will be a rollercoaster journey full of ups and downs, and it wont be easy.
You will never forget your Mum, you will carry her in your heart forever.
Keep posting on this site, everyone on here really understands and will listen to you and support you.
Sending hugs to you and your son x
I am so sorry to hear about your loss I am not sure where u live My husband died in Africa while I was in the UK You give me the impression you and your Mum were separated by many miles This makes everything seem more unreal I am thinking of you during this difficult time I don’t know what you are going to do to honour your Mum and commemorate her death Hope you are coping Please update on how you are You are not alone Don’t struggle alone support is around Blessings
S
Thank you for sharing. I think it is normal after lsoing someone so close that you feel like you want to die too. My sister died and my mum has expressed similar feelings so this has helped me to understand her too. You have almost reproduced what my mum said the other day. I have no advice other than try not to worry about HOW you are feeling. We all do grief in our own way and everything is ok to feel. All you can do, as someone so brilliantly put it to me, is tend to HOW you feel. But you feel with what you feel. All I would say is look after yourself. I miss my sister everyday and I just try to live as best I can knowing the void will always be there. I think its shape changes but not the space where she used to be. Just sending so much love to navigate the days ahead. x x
its early days for you but yes you must keep on living how you feel now is how your son would feel if he lost you my mum died 33 years ago and that was hard but you keep going and yes you will get their my husband died 9 weeks ago and it is so hard but i have to keep going he was ill with cancer but he would have loved to live a few more years and i know my family miss their dad so much so its one step forward and a few back but one day i will feel a little better i hope