16 weeks today and I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m 44 and I use to be a really social confident outgoing person but I’m a shadow of her now.
12 Likes
I am sure none of us are the same as we used to be. This grief destroys who we were and we have to create a new person but then we have lost half of ourselves. Xx. Sandra
7 Likes
We have lost half of ourselves your right. It destroys you massively, I feel like I’m on auto pilot half the time. My youngest has just started senior school and normally I’m all organised uniforms ironed ready the lot, but not anymore.
Hope you managing the best you can
Sally xx
3 Likes
I am managing the practical things better than I thought I might. I have mobility issues with knees, hips and back affected by arthritis. My other half was my carer. Emotionally I am a wreck. At least I don’t have to organise school. I am well passed that. I really sympathise with those of you who have lost your partners so young. At least I had him for over 50 years. Xx. Sandra
4 Likes
It’s hard at any age and it doesn’t matter how long you have them it’s never enough. It’s having the lads at home that are making me keep going and I have to keep functioning for them.
2 Likes
I would imagine it has hit them hard as well. I suppose you never have to find things to do to keep yourself occupied every day.
2 Likes
They keep me busy, the two older ones 22 and 19 talk a lot which is nice but it’s hard for them as well,
Sometimes it’s a blessing I have them at home still but in reality they should have been much older. Hope you have good support around you
2 Likes
A new you will emerge, when you’re ready. You have been through a major life change and it would be impossible to come out unscathed. It’s impossible to imagine right now but life will be worth living again.
2 Likes
Not so much now. My husbands brothers live in bishops stortford and holmes chapel. My brother lives in Essex and has his own problems as his wife has terminal ovarian cancer. I really couldn’t survive without my wonderful neighbours.
2 Likes
I least you’ve got them and this place xx
2 Likes
Yep im sure we are different people. Some people say to me its ok to move on and find another partner. Agh they really dont understand that true love lasts for all eternity not just until one passes.
Trouble is, i think, those of us left are just shells of who we were.
I still talk out loud to my beautiful wife, obviously she cannot answer but its rhe closest i can get to speaking with the only oerson who i could trust, rely on and depend on giving me love, assurance and great conversation. Ive aleays been ok socially but now i feel no one make conversation in the same way, it all seams so pointless…
My wife loved the garden although we would be away in out motorhome as often as we could between chemo. She said to me id love ro see crocuses, snowdrops and many more tulips. Ive spent the past 4 days planting 1000s. Ive creates a massive heart in the lawn with crocuses, im hoping she will be proud of that. I wish i could have an answer from her.
I just want us ro be together again and i see many people like us on here, so yes im sure you are right, we will never be as we were.
4 Likes
I’ve been told your only 44 you are young enough to find someone else so yeah get the point no one understands true love x
1 Like
@John1066
Your heart of crocuses will look beautiful when flowering. What an amazing thing to do, planting 1000s bulbs. Your wife would be so proud of you.
3 Likes
The most accurate description I’ve had is that we are like two pieces of paper glued together; if you try to separate them once the glue has hardened, all you do is rip both to shreds. It would be so much easier if we could neatly separate in to two independent halves, but we can’t. You were one unit with your partner, and without them it’s impossible to ever be the same again.
6 Likes
What an incredible description. Yes I feel shredded.
2 Likes
Very accurate. I have had to do a lot of shredding lately and often felt that I had been shredded, and still do!
1 Like
That’s an amazing thought and so so true.
1 Like
Thank you, ive just finished the heart, its ow taken just over1800 crocuses, i hope it will be beautiful for her. Im on with tulips today. Its the only things i can do for her at the moment because im so sad, like all of us really.
2 Likes
Tulips are my favourite flowers. It will look beautiful.
John, I wonder, if you agree, if it would be possible for you to take some pics when your wife’s hearts of flowers bloom, and put them on a thread. We can all enjoy them then. I have seen pics on some threads.
3 Likes
