I don't know what to do. My Mum passed away

On Thursday 11th April 2024 my mum passed away at the age of 63 from complications of early onset dementia. I felt like I was already grieving her loss, from the person she used to be as she forgot me and my sister and other family members. I visited her every single week but 2 weeks ago she was admitted to hospital with a chest infection. She couldn’t fight it and she sadly passed away. It hit me harder than I thought. When the dictor called to tell me i literally fell to my knees and cried out. Seeing her shortly after i sobbed and sobbed. Ever since I’m crying all the time, missing her so much. I don’t have any friends and feel so lost and lonely. I honestly don’t want to be here anymore. I can’t go on without her, she was my life. She meant everything to me. Can anybody please help me with some advice


Im so sorry for your loss , it can feel overwhelming but let your emotions out. Take time to cry and grief there is no right or wrong way. I lost my mum on the 9th April and I feel the same as you , im lost without her I also lost my Dad 4 months ago . Please be gentle on you and know there are people here that will to support you x

Hi snunhead,
Just read your post and wanted to reach out to you
It’s the worst feeling ever and I know how you are feeling bec I took felt like you did 15 months ago when my mum passed away.
There are no words to ease the pain so I am not going to try to say how you must react.
What you must do is look after yourself now. Rest,asleep whenever you want to and eat just a little to keep your strength up ok.
Post on here as much as you want to . It’s a lifeline and people on here really understand what you are going through.
Just take each day at a time. Try to get through a morning then an afternoon then the evening Break the day I to 3 chunks and don’t worry about the next day. Just survive each day. Set tiny targets for each day and I mean tiny. One of mine was getting out of bed for half an hour, then get dressed. Another target was make a cup of tea. All these seem so trivial but I couldn’t function just like you are struggling.
Put yourself first and try to get a tiny bit stronger each day if you can. Don’t worry if you can’t never have all been there.
You can always ask for help from your GP.
Sending lots of love to you
Deborah x

Thank you so much x

I am currently trying to do that but there are times the afternoon or evening drags on and i feel like im literally losing it.

You have really helped me, I really do appreciate your help. Im so sorry for your loss, i never expected it would be this hard. Because I knew she wasn’t well, I thought I’d cried over her being unwell was the hardest but her no longer being there i just feel empty. My sister has two children and lots of friends so she has the distraction and people to lean on and only really saw my mum once every 5 or 6 weeks so she’s not really missing her the way I am. I gave up work to care for her and then had a back injury so couldn’t do it anymore and then my Dad left work to care for her. I am sorry if i seem like im going on but if I don’t tell anyone the thoughts just go around in my head x

Hiya snunhead,
Of course you are not going on so don’t worry about that.
The closer you are to loved ones the more we feel their loss. And it’s so hard to get through each day.
Writing on here has helped me so much.
I make it a daily target.
Try to do one thing each day to help with your own wellbeing.
Watch a TV programme, read for just five minutes, go for a short walk for ten minutes, have a bubbly bath, paint nails, phone a friend anything to get through the day.
I made an area in my lounge as a memory table for mum and put flowers candle cross and photos of her on it. It really helped me. One of my targets every day was to dust and change it around.
I slept a lot after mum passed.i couldn’t face the world. Slowly I started coming out of my shell and you will too.
Keep going lovely.
Deborah x

Thank you x

Im going to definitely try and break the days up with tasks and activities x

I know my mum wouldn’t want to see me like this. I lost my little sister to. Cancer nearly 5 years ago and that really hit me hard too. I know i need to live my life as theres were cut so short. My comfort is knowing they’re now both together forever.

Thanks again, i really appreciate it x

Aww snunhead you are very welcome.
I am so sorry you have lost both. Its heartbreaking.
Dont look too far ahead Just take one day at a time or a morn then afternoon ok . I still do that after 15 months.
Focus on yourself lovely for now ok. Get yourself stronger. Thats all you can do for now. Do you work or are you at college?
Deborah x

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