Hello
I lost my partner, Elaine, of 37 years last night. It was quite sudden. She’d not been feeling too good for the last couple of weeks but in the afternoon she suddenly shouted at she wasn’t well. She was slumped back in a chair. She then stopped breathing and I failed to resuscitate. Paramedics couldn’t get her back. I feel so numb and I just don’t know what to do. Just walking from room to room in a complete daze.
5 Likes
I am so sorry for loss at this stage all ypu will feel is numb. To be honest thats all i felt for a while.
My only advise is to take it second by secong and minute by minute. Be kind to yourself if you need to cry, scream whatever just do it.
I really hope you have support that you can turn to.
This site is amazing and mysrlf and everyone else knows exactly what ypu are feeling if you need to talk which i find helps a lot i and everyone else is here to listen
Take care michelle
Happy to chat if you need someone to listen
Thank you so much.
I want to talk to people, and I want to be alone. I feel a need to be busy, but I don’t want to do anything. I don’t know what I want at the moment.
Jon
1 Like
After i lost my husband i didnt even know what day it was to be honest.
I spent the first few days mostly sat on the floor sobbing.
What you are feeling is absolutely normal.
I was with andrew 35 yrs and married 33. I was with him from the age of 18.
I am now 20mths along and really dont know how i have got here.
Talking to people who really understand is so important because unless youve experienced this loss you dont truley understand.
I am happy to chat as much or as little as you want and also not just today
.
1 Like
Also however silly you think it may sound i can guarantee either myself ir someone on this site will have experienced or thought it
1 Like
I’m so sorry for your loss too.
I think I would like to chat. Talking to a complete stranger who has been where I am might be nice.
Did you actually mean talk chat, or do you mean chat like this? I don’t want to be assuming and I understand you may not have meant actually talk.
1 Like
My neighbour said that, take it minute by minute and be kind to yourself.
Walking around in a complete daze is normal. You might be in shock and that may last awhile. There are so many emotions to process. Do let me know if you want to “chat” (online). Your neighbour is right…just take it a minute at a time and don’t judge yourself. Whatever you are feeling is legitimate and give yourself time to process what you are feeling. The emotions can’t be rushed through.
1 Like
Thank you for your kind words.
I want to talk, I want to be alone. I want to keep busy, I don’t want to do anything. I needed to get out of the house and go for a drive. Less than two miles down the road I wanted to go home.
2 Likes
Grief is full of contradictions, being alone, being with people, doing, not doing. The meaningfulness or meaninglessness of one or the other
1 Like
2nd night without Elaine. Slept a bit better but every time I woke up, just for a couple of seconds, I thought things were normal. Then it all came back to me and that sinking feeling hit.
Jon that is so normal i used to think i could feel andrew next to me. Sleeping a bit better is a good start.
Second by second remember
Michelle x
1 Like
I feel the same way too.
1 Like
Jon first of all I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain, in one sense I’m lucky as my partner lived elsewhere as we courted for nineteen years. But I have kept what others may say is silly like shampoo, hair brush etc etc. It’s down to when you are ready to do things. Just keep a couple of them and by doing this you do have something. I trust you will do the correct one. My whole blessings reach out to you.
Hi Daisy, I lost my beautiful husband 3rd September just dropped dead suddenly. I’m so lost and confused I’m scared and I miss him so terribly. I don’t know what or where to begin feeling anything other than this vile suffocation.
Sorry for your loss 20 months is brilliant going, hope you’re feeling better. Julie. X
Hi julie,
You are very early in this process. It is hard and to begin with you dont feel anything irs like a black hole. Gradually it does get easier as we learn to cope better.
Andrew was 58 when he passed way to young and i think that makes it harder its not expected
Take care michelle x
3 Likes
I agree with daisy. But as its gets easier grief has a torrid plan as it comes back on you. Don’t let it consume you. I’m at the stage where I sit and have a conversation with my partner and I find it lifting. Just keep calling on here and you will find things get easier because there are some very wise people on here that will help you. Blessings to you.
2 Likes
Thank you so much. Yes it is early days but it’s really not getting any easier. I’m beyond devastated to be honest I feel like I’m slowly dying. Thank you for your advice.
Hi Michelle sorry to hear about your Andrew that’s so young too. Absolutely shocking beyond belief. I saw my husband in the morning laughing joking two hours later he dropped dead. I cannot cope I’m not doing well. Thank you for your words.