I don't know what to do

My ex partner died and I’m really struggling to come to terms with it. Our wee girl is only 8. I’m struggling to help her cope. She just keeps asking me to bring her daddy back. He was only 36 and it was totally unexpected. The funeral was last week and now I feel empty. What do I do now?

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Hi I’m Yvonne I’m so sorry for your lost it’s so hard my husband died last year and my granddaughter who is 6 was so close to him she was alway crying but is having play therapy at school maybe your daughter could get some help at school xx

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Hi Yvonne
I am waiting to hear back about play therapy. I just feel we are in limbo whilst waiting on it. The school has been very supportive. It’s so new and raw. I’ve lost family members in the past but I’ve never felt grief to this extent. I have no idea how Ada feels. She says to me mummy I know you are sad too but you still have your daddy. It’s heartbreaking

It’s so hard I’ve lost my dad a few years ago but it was never as painful as losing my husband I think just allowing her to speak and let her say what she needs to and just let her cry it out until you get other support, for myself I do puzzles meditation walking it all helps just allow her to express her feelings and if you get upset to then that’s ok don’t feel you need to be strong for your daughter go with the feelings you both have at that time talk cry cuddle xx wish you both well xx

Dear Poppy

That is such a kind and gentle message, thank you for bringing your own personal experience to help another.

Thank you x

Your welcome xx

I am so sorry for yours and your daughter’s loss. It feels exceptionally cruel to lose a parent and partner at such a young age.

My Mum died 9 weeks ago, she was 70 and I am 48 and I still have this feeling she will reappear as if it was all a test or some bad joke.

Someone told me you have to take it wone day at a time and sometimes one breath at a time.

I hope you get the access to play therapy soon.

I think although painful to make sure she talks about him as much as she wants.

A friend of mind sent me a memory box - I’ve put some things in there, really daft things but they feel like everything to me at the moment - her tired, stinky old house shoes(!), crosswords with her writing on, lists she’d made and I sometimes write notes to her and put them in their. There may be 40 years between us but i wonder if your daughter might like something like that.