Please tell me what to do. I cant do this anymore. I feel so sad and just want to be with Martin. I dont want to be alone anymore. Its too hard. If he cant come home to me I need to go to him.
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I’m sorry for what’s happening to you. I know it’s incredibly hard and the pain is raw and all consuming but hang on in there.
Just focus on the next thing, eat and drink fluids.
You can do this, i know it feels impossible right now but you can do this!
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Hello, your in the worst part of grief, the very early days, you won’t feel worse then you do now, I feel for quite a while your in total shock, we never expect to lose our partners, we always have hope & to then lose them throws our whole world into something we don’t recognise.
In time things will become more bearable, you just need to hold on for the moment and know that how you are feeling is normal.
Do anything at the moment that you want, be that staying in bed all day, going for a walk, eating comfort food, I found writing down what I was feeling helped, sort of getting it out of my head?
So hold on and know that you won’t always feel so wretched.
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I dont know if i can do this. I’m so alone without him. I realised today that I no longer have a next of kin. No parents now, no children, no siblings now, no husband now. Just me.
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The only thing I want to do is be with Martin.
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Hi @Kaytoo ,
I’m so sorry to hear about your partner. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really down.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
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If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
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You can call 111 and choose the mental health option to speak to a trained mental health professional (England, Scotland and Wales only)
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Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
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Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
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You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support so please, Kaytoo, get in touch with one of these services.
Take care,
Alex
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How your feeling is normal, we’ve all felt like that, I believe our loved ones have just gone into another room, they can still see us & love us, can you remember all the love that your loved lost ones had for you and know they want you to take that love and use it as your strength to get through this.
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Hello, was thinking about you, have you been able to eat something? Get some sleep?
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I’m so sorry @Kaytoo . I’m in exactly the same boat; no family or siblings, and since last October, no partner. The bit about having no next of kin got to me, too. So I completely understand how lost and alone you feel. Hang in there; it does start to get better. Keep posting on here; we’re all here for you. Sending hugs and so much sympathy,
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I didnt sleep last night until about 4.30 am then didn’t bother getting up until 11.30 this morning. Didn’t see the point of getting up just to sit here alone all day.
I’ve had something to eat this evening.
I’m not quite as desperate as I was last night but still don’t see the point of going on alone. Everyone says it will get better but I don’t see how it can. Martin is never coming home so how can things get better. I’m pleased for
everyone that has found life is getting better but I cant see it happening to
me. I have heart failure already so hopefully that will mean I don’t go on for too long without him. I told the Dr before Martin died that I won’t take any new tablets that may prolong my life. I take enough already.
I’m sorry people were worried about me.
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Everything your saying is how I felt once but little by little as time passes the shock wears off & your able to adjust,
I didn’t believe it either when I got told this.
All you can do at the moment is do what helps pass the minutes, you’ve been able to sleep and eat so there achievements.
Just hold on knowing that your at the very worst stage & there is only one way and that’s up, you will get there and live the rest of your life with maybe not the happiness that you had but you will laugh again & smile at the precious memories that will help you heal.
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Thank you and I hope you’re right even if I don’t believe it now.
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Hi Kaytoo
It can be really tough when it feels like no-one is there for you, but we are all here for you, all going through our own grief. It’s good you talk to us on here, but I think it is really important that you talk to your GP about this and get some professional help and support. If you don’t feel like you can speak to your GP please call the Samaritans or someone similar. Don’t try and get through this on your own. Seek professional help. I wish my friend had sought help, so please contact someone professional, they will know how to best help you🥰
Thankyou.
XxX
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