I dont know why im so calm

I lost my mom on the 11th june. I am 32 she was 64. She had a life time of been unwell and did well to live till 64. We were super close. I was her only blood child, i have a step sister and step father both present for her death.

I was on holiday, she wasnt unwell in a way i thought she was going to die. She was just her 'normal ’ unwell. I wasnt there when she died.

She was taken to hospital on the Wednesday and was dead on the Saturday.

I cried alot on the friday as i was told via whats app to prepare for the worse.
I cried alot Saturday but since not a lot. I have organised her funeral, cleared out her house.

I have maybe cried 3 times, but not for long.

Why? I think of her all the time, but its like im detached.

Is this normal???

Hello Yvette

I’m so sorry about your very recent loss.

I came on this forum to ask the very same question after I lost my Mum just before Christmas.

Try not to dwell that you haven’t cried. There’s a kind of “anesthesia” that follows a loss I think and when it starts to wear off random memories/thoughts will probably trigger the tears. Even if that doesn’t happen, just try and remember that not all tears are visible.

It’s more common than you think to have thoughts like these as I found out too, I know I’ve not been helpful sadly but just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone in having those types of worries.

Sending lots of kindness to you Yvette.


Dear Yvette

You answered Tina’s request beautifully and I felt I had to let you know. It will help many others in the same situation. I’m sure it was just what she needed to hear, bless you for your kindness and understanding.

Miche24 x


I’m so sorry for your loss.

My dad passed away almost 23 months ago.
I’ve cried since then not so much.
Now that I’m really grieving and processing I cry a little bit more but not much still.
Everybody deals with grief differently.
Some do cry a lot and other can’t/don’t.

So it really depend on the person.
It’s not weird or wrong.
It’s just how you deal with grief and process things.

If you want to talk or anything, my messages are always open.