I used to consider myself a decent empathatic human being, but since I lost my partner on the 27th of April aged 58 I feel like a fraud as I say the right things to people, but inside I am jealous and envious of people who still have their partners. Constantly thinking why me? Why us? Sometimes feel like a decent human being again, but this is very fleeting and then Im back to what I refer to as myself as a shadow person… there but not the real me anymore. I dont want to be a shadow person anymore, but struggling to change. Xx
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It’s hard not to feel like that . We feel cheated and that’s why we feel envious . I feel like I don’t care about anything now as the worst has happened
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@Leigh2. I lost my dear husband 27 weeks ago and I feel exactly the same as you, jealous and envious of other people with partners. I used to be so confident and structured but now I’m a complete mess. Although I try to keep busy and go out, it would be easier to stay in bed and not bother. I am not even half the person I used to be. Who am I … I really don’t know her?
I have a huge black hole in my life which hasn’t got any smaller in six months.
I miss my husband so much, the pain is excruciating.
My best wishes to you x
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Know what you saying regarding staying in bed feel that most mornings, I’m fortunate to have family who I see most days or me to them some people say I’m lucky it’s not a word I would use having lost my husband at 58 but do consider myself fortunate try keep positive all know is easier said than done
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I lost my soul mate 23 years ago he was 24. I still feel bitter that he was taken we had just bought our home . I feel sad that we never got the chance to do things . I married and had 3 children but broke up after 8 years not because my husband was a bad man , he just wasn’t my soul mate . I feel so cheated even though its been 23 years. I know how you feel. Sending love 
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Hi @Shaz4 you have come to the right site . You can talk here to lots of people who understand your pain . I had my soulmate for 30 years but I still feel cheated he has been taken at 58 . No one knows the pain of losing them
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Hi everyone
I lost my husband 16 months ago and i still feel so alone my son never comes down to our house i do get invited up to his house for dinner about once a month maybe i feel as though ive lost him too we were so close and we are like strangers he is our only son i wish we were closer i know he has his own life but i feel ive lost 2 special men in my life 
So sorry Polly . Can’t you tell him that he should visit you and support you or would he not listen . It is so sad that you are alone so much . I hope you have friends or other family to support you .
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