My grandad passed away around 5 weeks ago, 6 months ago i made the decision to care for him. I cannot remember the last time i saw my friends or went out, it’s like they don’t know what to say when in fact i dont want them to say anything i just want them to be there, i feel alone right now and don’t feel in a good place.
I think when others have not faced losing someone they have no idea what what to say. The first time I went for a meal with my friends, not one word was said to me about my husband or how l felt, but they have been in contact and we go out for coffee. Like you say, you just want them to be there.
Keep going out with your friends just to have contact with others.
Thinking of you.
Lesley
Hi,
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your Grandad and so recently. You are firstly a very special person who have cared for him for six months. It is not an easy undertaking looking after someone you love and seeing their decline.
I am also sorry to see you haven’t had the chance to get out and about since losing your Grandad. As already said people just don’t understand how hard it is until they experience loss for themselves. Sadly bereavement is very awkward for people. Not knowing what to say or do for the best. They don’t mean to be unkind, they are just not thinking. Is there one friend you could contact, suggest meeting for a coffee or something quite low key. They may be waiting for you to contact them. If you don’t feel you can ring your friends an email saying what you have here, just you would love some company.
Please don’t feel alone. I know it is not the same but there are people here to chat to. You could also try the online bereavement service that is now being offered. Is on the right of the page.
You take lots of care of yourself and hold your head high. Your Grandad would be so proud of you that you want to go out and see people again.
Mel
Thank you for your advice. It was a little like that, I would explain that i wasnt available too see them because i was caring 24/7 also then i speak a little through facebook but thats about as far as it goes. Yes i have a fantastic family if it wasnt for them i would be totally alone. I am still caring for my grandma but looking for a part time job so once i get back to work i think even the company of colleagues will help. Thank you again for replying it really helps to listen to the advice of others. X.
Thank you very much for your reply. I recieved a text from a very old friend today who asked how i was and we have arranged to meet on Thursday and i am going to take a few hours out from caring for my grandma to go and see her. Hopefully seeing her and a good chat may make me feel better x
I took the plunge and contacted my friends, i made plans for tomorrow thursday and friday. If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain’ xx
That is such good news for you. A few hours just chatting and relaxing will do you so much good. Your Grandma will enjoy hearing about your trip out as well when you get back to her.
My Mum was more or less house bound for some time before she became very ill. At that time I could go out, work part time and see my friends. What my Mum always wanted to know was what my friends were wearing, jewellery, clothes etc. I know she used to get very frustrated at not being able to get out more herself so describing little things like that seemed to help.
Have a super time on Thursday, the first of many I hope for you.
Thank you so much x
Thank you so much for taking time to talk to me , i feel better already xx
The relationship between grandparent and grandchild can be ever so strong - I still miss my grandma dreadfully and it has been several years since she died. Try and meet your friends halfway if you can and work on doing things with them, people don’t know what to say and feel awkward but you really need friends around you. Everyone here understands xx