I feel guilty

Hi all, I’m 41yrs old and my mother died of lung cancer in 2017 then my father committed suicide in 2019 because he couldn’t live without her leaving me and my two brothers devastated, I have four children and was with my boyfriend for 24 years until last July when he left me because he couldn’t bare living with me coz I was still grieving for them! It’s left me devastated as I now feel guilty for ruining my children’s life, am I wrong to still be grieving?? Please help!, thank you xx


Hi Cjnl22,

Of course you’re not wrong to still be grieving! I’m still grieving terribly for my mum who died suddenly in 2019. My partner has supported me throughout even though I was a complete misery for the first couple of years and still have my moments now.

Your partner didn’t leave because you were grieving and to do what he did was awful in my opinion.

You have been through a terrible time losing your parents so close together and losing your father in such tragic circumstances.

I personally hated counselling but have you tried? Particularly in relation to your dad? Or sought help from charities/organisations dedicated to survivors or suicide?

I’m sure others on this forum will be able to suggest places.

Things will get better but 3 and 5 years is still very recent. My dad died 24 years ago and I still feel sad and miss what could have been.

Wishing you all the best in your journey and please dont blame yourself for your partner. He wasn’t going to stay and found a poor excuse for leaving.

Cheryl x