Last night was the first night I spent in our new home. I think yesterday my husband and I were exhausted as we had been moving and carrying boxes etc! This afternoon I could not stop crying. We had to leave what was my family home of over 40 years!
Both my husband and I lived with my mum who died on 13 February 2023. It has been so hard to leave the family home all the love and cherished memories of both my mum and dad. We were so lucky with mostly lovely neighbours and friends. I just feel lost without living there. I do not feel I can go on with this life!
We have had to leave as it was a 2 bed local authority house. Although the council have granted us a tenancy, under exceptional circumstances due to my husbands health. We would have to move into a 1 bed property. They have advised that this could be anywhere in the London borough we live! Fortunately we lived in a nice area!
I am sitting here tonight in our new home which we were fortunate to be able to buy, but this a lot longer away than I would really like to be. I am leaving friends and neighbours and it so hard to cope with this. The grief today feels unbearable, I miss my mum so much without having to deal with all these new changes.
Hi Shelly - Moving house is a massive upheaval in any circumstance, but leaving the family home after a bereavement is a huge step so its totally understandable that its going to be upsetting. But you always have those family memories - no one can take them from you.
Im only just starting to spend one night a week back in my own home after living with and caring for mum for the last year - i prefer to stay at mums where i feel her closest. I dread the thought of eventually having to part with the place. But ive brought mums slippers and dressing gown with me, her coat is on the coat rack and her photos are everywhere.
Its probably going to take a long time before you feel more settled in your new home. Dont overdo it and wear yourself out - pace yourself. Maybe mentally take your mum on a tour of the house and get her seal of approval? After all those years looking after her, im sure your Mum would want to see you happy and settled.
Thank you so much Ally for your advice and suggestions, it helps to know that I am not alone. I just feel so lost right now! I am sorry for your loss and the heart breaking experience you are going through. I can understand how you would want to be in your mum’s home, as you must feel closest to her there. To be honest if I knew I could stay in my mums house I would. But unfortunately I am not allowed to stay. There is also the waiting game where the council could say, we have found you a 1 bed, we need to move you out now. In addition I would only get 1 option and don’t have a choice to where they put us! I suppose by choosing the house we have there is more certainty to our future.
