I have exams coming up and i have been really busy since the last one month and i haven’t thought about her even once other than praying for her soul to rest in peace every night.
Today i took a break from my studies and enjoyed myself with a comedy clip and surfing around twitter, i suddenly felt like i am betraying my mom by not thinking about her and not missing her enough…it’s only been 3 months since she’s gone and i already moved on ??? Am i am bad daughter ?? Or do i still think that she is still alive and will come back to me soon ??? Am i still in denial ???
Now that i am writing this i am crying so bad…i haven’t cried since i last visited my doctor a month back, and now i feel like dying…i wish my mom was still here
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. It sounds as though things are very busy for you with your exams at the moment and you are feeling guilty for not thinking about her as much.
I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Firstly, I am so sorry for the loss of your mum. I lost mine very quickly to cancer last Christmas and one of the main things I can advise you is to be kind to yourself (I wasn’t for a long time and sometimes still am not, but it gets easier to cope). You have suffered a great loss and emotions can and often do come on unpredictably and can feel very frightening. And sometimes you don’t feel anything much at all. You are entitled to have good moments and a good life, you are not betraying your mum for having a moment of good feeling, if anything it is highly likely she would want that for you and more. There is also no right or wrong amount of thinking about a loved one who has passed. I have felt it many times myself when I’ve had a good time or haven’t thought about her for a day or so that terrible guilt that I am not feeling actively sad in that moment. Know that you are processing everything at your own pace and there will be good times and bad times. Take good care and go easy on yourself.