I feel guilty all the time and it’s been 3 years now.
One of my old work colleagues, it was our first job we had together just working in a burger bar. She would come in complaining that her side and her back was always hurting, and I would tell her it was probably from her hobby (she used to do Dance), and that she just needs to heal. We wasn’t allowed to sit down when working the front taking orders from customers, but without the boss knowing I would always get her a stool to sit on whenever she felt in pain.
I wish I just told her to go to the doctors to check it out just to be safe, I regret it every single day. 3 years ago today she was diagnosed with cancer. She was back in work less than an hour after being diagnosed as she would never let the team down; it was cancer that was hurting her. She was only 18 years old. She had an operation to remove the tumour that was growing in her side/back area, hoping it would help but it was too late and too far gone. She passed just 2 months later, 1 week after her 19th birthday.
I wish I had even just mentioned making a doctor’s appointment, maybe they could have caught it sooner and she would still be here today. I feel so much guilt, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to shift it.
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your old work colleague. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
I sympathise with you I too feel guilt that I should have picked up on niggling pains my husband suffered.
But in life we all do get aches and overlook them. We could all say I should have or could have done something…….
. I focus now on all the things I did to support him and try to bury my negative thoughts even though they do resurface constantly.
Just think of the kindness you jshowed her helping her at work and the support you were to her.
We all have our regrets when ever I asked my partner how he was his answer was always the same ohh I’m tired he would say, and I’d reply ahh your always tired though at the time I never knew he was terminally ill, because being the loving kind sweetheart of a gentleman he was he kept his terminal illness from me until two months before he died because he didn’t want me to be upset that takes some courage. He asked the oncologist in April what was the prognosis she said six months he broke the bad news to me in July he sadly did in September. He kindly asked the oncologist if he could tape their conversation about the prognosis and he played the tape back to me.
He was honestly more concerned about what would happen to me after he’d gone then worried about himself…