My husband passed away on 22 November, I am feeling so lost without him, I struggle to make decisions, my concentration is nil, if I motivate myself to do something I feel totally overwelmed and stand staring into space. My grown up sons live with me and I try to be the old me around them, but when im alone I just want to curl into a ball. Is this normal?
What is normal for us after such dreadful loss.? I lost my husband at the end of October & have also tried to protect my adult son from my pain. Like you I just want to curl up & disappear. Our happy place has gone & everything looks so hopeless. I suppose the only thing to do is to keep taking baby steps forward, but I wonder daily how I can keep doing this without him. My son doesn’t live with me but keeps telling me " he has got me," so for them we have to carry on.
I share your pain & am sending a big hug xx i
Hi I have my 27 year old son living at home at first my tears never stopped my poor son 9 months on I hide a lot of my emotions from him he has been my rock and I don’t think he has grieve for his dad looking out for me.
Take care all x
Thank you for replying. My youngest son has learning difficulties and he is very verbal about his grief and I support him as best I can. My eldest is more concerned that I am ok, he suffered a period of bad depression last year, and I am very worried about him relapsing. I have encouraged him to talk to me about his Dad, but just says he is ok. He does have friends and I am hoping that he can open up to them, but men don’t do they.
Yes!!! That is what we all feel like when we lose a life partner. You are right at the beginning, as time goes forward all will become clear.
It helps everyone to talk, to a relative, a close friend, or to a trained counsellor who can help you to navigate this stormy and unpredictable ocean of grief.
You are not alone. We’re all here to help, and we will. You can get free counselling from this website. Book an appointment and see if it helps you.
Finally, you MUST be very very kind to yourself. It’s like the old saying goes - you can’t fall in love with anyone, until you learn to love yourself. You know how to love. Whenever you’re at your lowest moments - and there are many as you know - simply think, what would help me right now? If it’s crying, do it. Tears are emotional balm. If it’s a cup of tea or coffee, ask your sons to make one, or make it yourself. If you feel like staying in bed all day, do that. & etc…
It can and will get easier.
With love, Christie xxx