I feel like im losing the plot.

I lost my mum and dad in a car crash this year, mum died one day after the crash but only because she was kept on life support for a day. Dad died nine weeks later of complications from the accident.
I felt like I was dealing with it ok, well as ok as I could. I have two wonderful brothers who have been very supportive. As I hope I have been to them.
I actually feel worse as the time goes on, and I am crying all the time. I dont expect people to keep feeling sorry for me, I just want to be left alone.
Im sure I am going to end up divorcing my husband, he is being so selfish and nasty. Or is it me being less tolerant, because normally I let everything go over my head.
I just dont know what to do to make myself feel better. I get more confused and upset everyday. I just want my dad to give me a hug, like he always used to, and its breaking my heart that they are not there anymore.
Life is just rotten at the moment, I just cant cope with all the stress, or my job.
Does anyone else feel like this, or is it just me?
Why do I feel worse now?

Hi Candy

sorry to read your post. I lost my mum in July and the one thing I crave everyday is a hug from her. Sadly these are not forthcoming from other members of my family, selfish and nasty are just what I would describe them as too. You mention that you have lovely brothers so concentrate your attentions on them.

Sadly I have no answers but just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Mel.

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Thank you Mel,

I guess we are all on this journey alone really x x

Hi Candy and Mel, understand exactly how you are feeling. I yearn for one of the big hugs my husband used to give me, he was the only person who had given me any affection in my lie and I am 51. He died 3 mths ago suddenly and I too know what it is like to feel worse as time goes on… I am soon going to get some counceling, but now feel that he might get let behind. My head is such a mess…

Hi Candy and Mel, I feel for your loss as I lost my only lovely and quirky son with a great sense of humour three months ago and feel all alone and lost. I am having counselling and sure it is helping. I do wish you have some relief soon, God bless you both.

Hi Janine

A bit of humour and fun is what I miss. My Mum was so funny with an offbeat way of looking at life. I miss her laugh so much and the way she used to look at me after saying something to make me laugh.

Keep saying I am going to look into counselling and losing the courage, must really do something about it.

Mel

Hi candy I lost my mum in may and only resently I have been getting worse my life feels out of control and I can’t cope with my job and small every day things set me off we lost my aunt resently to so you are not alone I total relate to you hang in there

love to you x I may be a stranger but I can feel your distress xxx

It’s just so hard trying to live a normal life when all we want is our loved ones back. I just can’t accept it. My GP says it’s grief and I’m not depressed. But I only get 4 hours sleep a night and cry and just want to hibernate. I’ve gone back to work but go to the loo and cry. People forget so quickly. Why can’t I move on. I even feel guilty if something makes me laugh…which is rare.

Lottie,

I dream of hibernating and waking up next spring to find the last few months have been just a horrible dream.

Well done on getting back to work. I am self employed so only work if i feel up to it. The incentive being no work, no money and the bills keep rolling in whatever.

There are no answers i feel but i am thinking of you from another one who cannot sleep.

Mel.

Mel
Just knowing that other people feel the same and I’m not going mad helps.
You know as a child when you wish really really hard for something…well no wishing will bring my Dad back and it hurts so much. Xx

Hi Lottie

I know that feeling so well.

I dreamed of my Mum and Dad last night. they were standing together smiling and looking so happy. My subconscious i think trying to tell me they are together and alright. Doesn’t make it any easier but has sustained today as they were both young and healthy looking, how i should be remembering them.

Mel
Xx

Oh Mel that’s so lovely. They definitely are telling you they are ok. I’ve not dreamt of my Dad. I used to dream every day about all manner of things. but as soon as Dad died I’ve not had one dream about anything. I desperately need to feel or know he is ok.
Xx

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