I have recently returned from Sheffield, where I had chosen to be since learning about my mum’s terminal pancreatic cancer.
I live in beautiful New Zealand and left my partner, friends, business, dogs and home to be back with my UK family until mum passed.
It was a crazy, beautiful, and brutal time (brutiful).
We teamed up like a supergroup, and made the past few months precious and memorable, honouring Mum and each other like no other time (I am 56)
It was super hard to fly away a few weeks ago, and I feel a little hollow, extremely sad, and even short-fused.
I have great people around me, but it feels like no one asks me about the experience, or when they ask me how I am, they don’t really want to hear, and another topic of conversation takes over.
I am a professional life coach, and I know that the hurt child inside of me is seeking affirmation and soothing,
I wondered if anyone else feels this?
I will not push down my feelings, and I will get professional support, but I would love to hear that I am not alone in feeling this.
I’m so sorry to read that you are feeling lonely and like you are not being heard by those around you. It sounds like the last few months have been full of mixed emotions and so very difficult for you.
I just wanted to reach out to thank you for sharing so honestly and to let you know there is lots of other support out there. I would really encourage you to speak to someone about how you are feeling. The following website might help you find support services closer to home: https://help.befrienders.org/
You deserve care and support, @CaronP - keep on reaching out.
Hi @CaronP I can relate to your experience I’m sad to say. My Mum also died from pancreatic cancer, suddenly and unexpectedly back in January. We had no idea and didn’t discover the cause of her death until the post mortem. This year has been brutal for me, trying to manage the incredible pain of losing my mum. At the same time as knowing how lucky I was to have had her, I am also so sad that she has gone. Friends and family were obviously supportive in the immediate aftermath but now, ten months on, that support has faded. I’m grateful for this forum because regularly checking in on here reminds me that I am not alone as I grieve. I’ve read a great deal about grief during this year and know all the theories but emotionally I am very drained. I go through the routine of my days just keeping going and hoping for this difficult time to pass. Best wishes to you xx
Oh @Rosiepink , I’m so sorry.
I hope you are getting support in other places.
It’s hard, I know.
That’s right, you are never alone, and maybe this is how it is. Only those of us who have gone through something similar get it xx
Hi Caron, so sorry for your loss, I was reading your message and it sounds very familiar to what im feeling aswell, I lost my mum 7 months ago, and have had support in the beginning, but now family don’t even ask how i am, or even mention my mum in conversation, I feel very alone with no one to talk to, take care, Morgan
Hi @CaronP you’re not alone in feeling that. I also feel very alone after losing my mum 3 months ago. Life has moved on for everyone else but not for me. I’m still so lost and sad and alone without my mum. I yearn for her love and support again, I’m not getting anything like that from anyone else, apart from my husband, but that’s obviously very different than the unconditional love of a mother. I miss her endlessly and I miss having someone to check up on me and care and be interested in me, how I am and what I’m doing. I feel very alone and vulnerable without that x