I lost my mum two months ago and I feel totally lost!
At first I was in shock and totally numb but then a week after her passing I went back to work and thought I was okay in a sense of okay I was getting up, getting dressed and going to work - crying most mornings
But then last week it hit me like a ton of bricks and I just couldn’t cope! I feel like I am going down hill too fast and I can’t seem to steady myself. I am drinking too much to numb the heartache but of course that isn’t helping and it just makes it worse but I do it anyway.
All my motivation has gone. I don’t even want to leave the house to grab a loaf of bread because I don’t want to interact with anyone.
I just feel so lost and lonely. I don’t know what to do to get out of this state of anxiety. I have never been through this before. I feel like that when she died she took a part of me with her! She was my best friend the person I went when I was feeling down and broken and now I feel like I don’t have anyone.
Hello flo,
It’s so sad. It has a monumental devastating impact on us.
To help yourself cope, you absolutely need to prioritise self care: the small things like eating healthy food, drinking water, and going outside for a walk. Plus, looking into counselling if you think that that might suit you (Sue Ryder offers free counselling, which everyone who’s used it speaks highly of).
At times like this I know it’s really hard to even do the basics, but taking care of yourself really is vital 
.
@flo1990
Firstly I’m so sorry for your loss.
The exact same thing happened with me. My mum passed away in April and at first though I felt numb and in a state of shock, I was able to get on with things. That all changed 6-7 weeks later after my mum’s ashes were interred. The anxiety was overwhelming and all rational thought seemed to escape me.
It has since been explained to me that this is a normal response. After a shock such as bereavement the body then goes into overprotective fight and flight mode. So if it makes you feel better, there is nothing abnormal happening.
As for how you cope with it, I’m still trying to find out. There are many non medical over the counter pills and potions, which may take the edge off, like Kalms or anything with passion flower/lemon balm . You have the option of GP medication. But I would recommend bereavement counselling as your first option, and go from there.
I have had a few sessions now and the way they normalise your thoughts and feelings is helpful, and just voicing your inner fears is a good way to start dealing with them.
I have made some improvements since I started therapy but I know I’ve got some way to go yet.
Hope this helps.
We are still yet to have the funeral as there was an inquest in my mum’s death. The funeral is next week and I feel as though I’m not going be able to get through it, especially with how I am feeling right now.
I have decided to do counselling and a safe space group in my area with Sue Ryder bereavement.
I get very anxious meeting new people and talking about my feelings, on here it doesn’t seem to daunting if you will.
However I need to try to see what is right for me.
The only thing I know when I feel like this is to call my mum but now I need to find another outlet because I don’t want to spiral I am so scared of that.