Hi,
My mum died last week and I feel absolutely nothing, I’m 42 and have 2 younger sisters 40 and 31. I absolutely adored my mum and cannot understand why I feel nothing! Please help! X
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Hi, most likely you are still in shock… grief takes many forms, with a whole whirlwind of different emotions. It’s a very personal response for everyone, there’s no right way to grieve. It’s not all about crying either. Expect your feelings to change and just go with it. There’s a lot of useful information about grief and loss online. Take care of yourself xx
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Hi Sam,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. I agree with Rosiepink, you are bound to still be in terrible shock and you probably just feel numb at the moment. It will be your body’s way of trying to protect you at the moment,
Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way, you have to deal with it in your own way, in your own time. Reach out on here and share your feelings, I always find it a comfort x
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Hi Sam I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. I felt drawn to reply to your post as I felt the same way as you. I lost my mum 2 years ago, I was 23 and still lived with her at the time and like yourself absolutely adored her, in fact she was my best friend so I questioned why did I feel so emotionless and numb… l I still question myself to this day about how I feel now and how others think of me when I talk about her without getting upset but no one truly understands what is going on inside of your head and truthfully they never will and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel the way you do right now, you may still be in shock and right now you might just not know how to process your emotions. Just allow yourself to do what feels right and please don’t put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. I always say the same thing to myself because it’s true- grief is not a linear process, the stages come and go as they please and you can’t control this. I spent so long trying to understand the different stages and why I felt a certain way at a certain point. Everyone grieves differently and this is key to accepting that what your feeling right now is normal and right for you. Sending you love x
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Hi Sam
Really sorry for your loss.
Im 49 and lost mum 15 months ago and from my own experience,as Lucy and Rosie said,the stages come and go and it can be a total whirlwind.
I have found myself go from total numbness to being overcome with emotion thats unbearable in literally the space of an hour.
You are sadly experiencing a life changing event and your emotions will be all over the place.
The only real advice i can give is please be kind to yourself,however you deal with this …and it will probably change on a daily basis…is not the wrong way.
Our minds are very powerful things and can flip emotions back and forth.
I sincerely wish you the best and take care.
Thank you for sharing and however you manage your grief will be the correct way.x
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Omg! Thank you all so so much for responding, I’ve only just had it in me to look, it means so much xx I hope you’re all ok? It’s still so new to me and I really think this forum is going to help, sending so much love to you all x
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I have been the same, does not seem real. Lost my dad 13th july. Its almost been like a switch has been flipped and im trying to carry on as normal. I think its self preservation. I have shut off and its scaring me because i know myself and im going to break. I hope you find that outlet like i must, if it be through help, sreaming, shouting, crying, for your own mental health. xx
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Oh I hope you’re ok?
We’ve had the funeral and we’re now sorting through bills etc but still im drinking too much- doing anything that will numb any sort of feelings xx
I’m so so sorry you lost your mum so young- how devastating xxxx
Thank you so much for your reply- still don’t know how to feel, sending lots of love xxx
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