I feel punished

I have been in the group a while now.My last message was back in February 2024.I lost my husband from liver cancer 7 weeks after diagnosis,back in May 2023.I brought him home to die.It was his wish and I felt able to do it.
I had good support for a while.I still do from our sons and daughter.However, now I notice the phone calls ,the text messages ,the emails,the PM’s and the visits have all dried up.Those empty words" if there is anything you need,just give me a shout" ring hurtful and untrue.No-one wants to know,nobody understands the gnawing feeling grief puts in your stomach,the yearning for your husband,the bitter tears of utter sadness.On his anniversary one of my friends told me I needed to start getting a grip.Then came the bombshell.We all think it is time you got on with your life,you can’t bring him back.We are all worried about you.Like a fool I just stood and took it.I didn’t know what to say.I have left messages with my friends ,but as of today no-one has got back to me.The last time I went out was December.I don’t have money to spare to go anywhere.I don’t drive,so I am housebound as I feel safe in the house.I just don’t know what to do anymore.

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Thats really mean. Its only a year since you lost him. Thats no time if you been with someone a long time ! I found that this experience has brought out some of the worse behaviours in some people !! People are so horrible ya know :frowning: chat to friends on here who understand x

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Hi @Tearful I think a lot of us have had the promises of being there but never fulfilled. I can’t believe that someone would say ‘get a grip’ to someone who has lost their beloved. We know we can’t bring them back or go back to the life we had (if only) but it’s just heartless to say something like that. I’m sorry you have not been able to get out as staying in all of the time is not good for anyone. Can your children take you out? I don’t go out a lot and spend a lot of time on my own, but I do have a few good friends that I keep in touch with and see. I hope things improve for you. Although saying that, at this time I really can’t see a future I will be happy with. I live in hope. You take care.X

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I agree with @Deb5 keep visiting this site.
We understand and don’t judge.

Rose x

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People are really horrible arent they ? You know what i hate is when people say i dunno how you carry on from this ? How is that supposed to make us flipping feel ! Really doesn’t help does it :frowning: i had a few people say that to me ! One today ! Fuming actually ! Xx

Oh @Tearful
What a dreadful time you’re having without the support of your friends.
I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I was told that.
Keep posting here. We all understand because we’re all going through the same hell.

Sending you hugs
Liz x

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The people who make those comments haven’t been through what we have they haven’t got a clue i never had a clue a widower in work before Danny died took time off with depression his wife had died you no what its only now i can understand how bad he must be feeling but you do say things like I’m sure his wife died a while ago like he should be ok i thought the same i am ashamed to say so until it happens to you you realise what other people must be going through

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Yep youre right … but when you try to explain it to people they really should try to understand ! People are just so heartless and horrible these days ! Im so sick of the human race ! Im not suprised i miss my husband cos he was so very kind and didn’t have a spiteful bone in his body ! X

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Neither did mine he always saw the best in people i was the bitch at times

Its a shame we had to lose these lovely men … dont think they make them like that anymore :frowning: and im sure you werent all that bad or he wouldnt have been with you would he ;( dont say that … nobody is perfect ya know … not even my husband but he had a kind heart which is so lacking in todays world … i.miss that kind heart :heart:

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