Hello everyone here i am again, i lost my only sibling my brother feb 2023 to cancer. He lived here at home with me. I had or have nobody else in the house as i not in relationship or have other siblings. I have tried councilling, books, lots of things but its now Aug 2024 i know I will never get over my lovely brother’s loss, we were close, great friends. I still can’t stop crying and am on new meds for depression, i suffer terrible panic attacks. I have a good friend who visits every day to watch tv with. I have other good friends but naturally they live their own lives, families, etc. I am not and will not time my grief as i know its going to be ongoing but i find it getting harder and harder. I dont drink, smoke or socialise i did all that when younger and cant face crowds to be honest. I am so sorry for all your losses. I just wondering if someone here is dealing with grief alone. Thank you so much for listening
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother, @Norm62. I wanted to share this link with you in case it would be helpful to meet others in similar situations. The Compassionate Friends support siblings after loss. They have online support groups and run retreats for bereaved siblings.
The next online support group is on September 4th - you can find the details here.
I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts too - take good care,
Seaneen
Thank you Seaneen i am already a member of the group, they are very kind. I live in Ireland so i couldn’t do the retreats but i check in with their site and Facebook page often. Thank you so much again
Hello Norm62,
you are right, we will never get over the loss of our brothers. I lost my brother exactly one year before you lost your brother.
It looks as if it is getting slowly better for me now. (Fingers crossed.) Not great, but I take what I can. I have sold my bungalow end of March and I am now in my brother’s house. Not easy but it is the only way for me.
Lot of deaths since December 2021. My brother lost his cat Tommy in December 2021 and he was not the same afterwords. His cat Jack died 1st August 2022 and the mother cat Fluffy died on the 22/03/2023 but I still have my brother’s little cat Tammy. I cuddle her at least twice a day now.
My depression started after the first year and it seems as if it getting better now. I was also on antidepressants for about a year but stopped taking them now. I am eating chocolate now instead of taking the antidepressants. I eat about a third of a bar each day now. Well, not perfect but my taste buds like it too. Dark chocolate is suppose to be the best but I hate dark chocolate.
I hope you feel better soon Norm.
Nick
Thank you very much Nick for your kind words of support. Our kittys are a great comfort i have four. Sorry to hear about the loss of your brother’s kitties. But cherish Tammy as i am sure you do. I am glad things appear to be getting easier on you. Its great to hear that, enjoy the chocolate. I can’t have much of that as i am diabetic i do have the odd piece. Yes dark choc is hard tó get used to but i find i wouldn’t eat much of it as its heavy. Anyway enjoy whatever you choose life is short so enjoy. Thanks again Nick
Hello Norm62,
just want to say hello. What type of cats do you have. Tammy is a small Maine Coon, she is 13 years old now and I hope I have her for another few years. She is the last one now. I cuddle her three times every day now when I feed her. She is outside all the time and does not come inside at the moment. I guess it will change when it gets colder again. She loves her garden, it looks like a jungle.
Take care of yourself.
Nick
Hi norm 62
I am so sorry for your loss, I am not alone, but do understand how lonely you must feel, I lost my brother a year ago now, and I still miss him so much, it’s hard when you have been so close as I was with my brother , not all my family understood how I still feel like this as they have got on with their lives , I wish I could iam getting there but think it’s going to take a long time , I think about him all the time and I still send him text messages and have a chat with him, just a way of coping and makes me feel like he is still around. I wish I could tell you it will get better but I know how hard it is, just know that your brother is at rest and he would want you to carry on and see the world for him now. Take care and be kind to yourself
Hello Nick, Thank you for your message Tammy sounds a beautiful cat. I had 6 kitties but Lucy went missing on June 3rd she never came home. I have a type of a máine coon Simba big furry cat, since my brother passed away he will not come indoors for cuddles as my brother used brush him etc, 3 of them stay in their outdoor houses, but Lucky and little baby come in at night. They are great company, obviously cant have a conversation with them but lovely to have. Stay well Nick, have good fun with lovely Tammy
Hello Jenny
Thank you for your kind words and support, i am so sorry for the loss of your brother. It really is so hard isnt it? It seems so very unfair, i am doing best i can but no interest in doing anything. And the long dark nights approaching, i dont socialise at all, didn’t drink withv34yrs, dont smoke, i am a cancer survivor since 2006. Hope you are doing as well as to be expected, stay well. Thank you again
Hello
Yes, I am dealing with grief alone. My brother died of cancer 4 years ago, aged 65. We had a lot in common and now i have lost that.
Sorry to hear of your loss and suffering
Sue
Hello SueMa
I am so sorry for your loss, its harder when alone to deal with grief, especially like me, i dont bother doing the social stuff i guess i did all that in my youth. How do you deal with your grief day to day. Thank you for your kind message
Hello
For a long time i was clearing a house so i have been kept very busy. I treat myself to things. I go to London a lot. Somehow you get from day to day and become stronger.
Sue