Thank you for sharing your experiences and I am incredibly sorry for your loss.
I personally havent lost anyone but my partner has lost his father very recently he has very similar emotions to what you have described.
I do understand it must be incredibly frustrating but I believe a lot of people dont acg like this out of malice or indifference but simply because they do not understand what it feels like or do not know what to say.
Saying all this, I personally believe it is very important to educate yourself on bereavement especially when someone very close to you has lost someone.
When my partner’s father passed away I spoke to one of my closest friends who also had lost her dad unexpectedly to ask her for some “advice” or tips on what to do/what not to do and avoiding being too overbearing… saying that every grief process seems to be different- I remember my friend said she just wanted to be with her immediate family (without her partner) when they were grieving whilst my partner was asking me to be around him.
Just be honest with the people around you, if you need them, tell them and let them know. I think the best policy it to be transparent - you are going through a trauma after all.
This is how I’ve been feeling for a while now. Yes, everyone is having a tough time, no one enjoys lockdowns and uncertainty, people want to go on holidays, but god it is all so trivial in comparison to losing someone to coronavirus. Sometimes I just have to bite my tongue. Lately many of my friends have been moaning about vaccine side-effects. If my dad had got a vaccine he would be alive. I don’t understand why people feel the need to bang on about how they got a sore arm or a temperature after a jab…deal with it…!
I completely agree with all on this subject - I have a friend who has gone on about nothing but missing her family in Ireland during this whole pandemic and I have been supportive and positive with her through it all, that is until today when I get nothing back other than you seem pissed off and angry at everyone - no one wants to talk to you or approach you.
totally what you need when you are still morning a huge loss and her family is on the other end of a phone or video chat. I can’t see my Dad anymore but yes you are the only one who has issues
Very frustrating - I am pleased you are both finding this forum helpful though, I hope I can find it just as helpful
I am totally with you on this one Annie, it is very hard - I found that when I was with a group and they were talking about there parent(s) I would just get looked over or forgotten as such because they didn’t want to see me cry or talk about my Dad. I hope they start to come around to your feelings and the need of support.
Hi yes some people don’t know what to say but you just want you to acknowledge it and say something to you. My family lost my Mom in May. I still cry and I talk to her all the time. Which helps me. She was in hospital for 10 weeks and we couldn’t go and see her which broke my heart and I was terribly distressed but feel a bit better know she is no longer suffering. But they will be with you forever.
