My beautiful mum died almost 19 years ago on the 21st June 2007 after a very short battle with cancer. Not a day goes by without me thinking of her. People say I should be over it by now but I’m not. I don’t know how much longer I can go on without her.
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So sorry for the loss of your mum 
I can’t imagine we ever get over losing our parents. I feel like I’m just existing now, not really living anymore, just trying to keep distracted to get through the days, all while the rest of the world seems to carry on as normal.
No one understands this deep sadness until they experience it for themselves.
Praying that we can all eventually find some peace and comfort in our memories of times gone by 
Its 17 months since my mum died and I just think you learn to live with it but never get over it
life is a struggle, some days are better than others especially keeping busy! Its when im on my own I really struggle or at night
i try to hold on to memories but end up crying! Hope you find some peace xx
I agree. My mum died in October. A big part of ones heart feels empty. I lived with mum and although I have a partner I live on my own now. I keep busy. When I stop and think and feel, then I cry. My counsellor told me that there is the emotion side and function side. It helps me to think that I am on ‘the emotion’ side when I cry. I am trying to learn to accept my feelings.
Sparrow2 I so agree - I too lost my mother (I lived with her for all my life) last October and I also find so long as I’m busy I can get through but when I stop I’m caught by the throat. It doesn’t really get better though I’m more used to it now I suppose. Nothing will ever be the same again and most of the savour/joy has gone from life. We used to talk about anything and everything every day and every evening and the silence now is dreadful and lonely. I will continue to talk to her and continue to keep going because she would hate it if I didn’t and she put so much care and effort into looking after me and ensuring the best for me. I just have to hope things will get better in some way but I’m so so grieving for her and all we shared. J
TryingtoKeepGoing, I was wondering how you were as our lives are so similar. My Mum lived for me and I lived for her. You are right, it does not get any easier. I am learning to live with the tears when they emerge. I keep going as my Mum did all she could to provide me with everything she could in life, going without for me. I won’t waste what she did for me because she wanted me to be happy. I talk to her, visit the cemetery on a Sunday, continue to take good care of myself but I so wish that she was with me.
Hi sparrow2, having a bad dayim off work using holiday days up and trying to keep busy. I visit my mum at the crematorium most weeks to get comfort and chat to her. I think because she died so unexpectedly in a short time and I feel so guilty! Going over that day and reliving it all the time im not coping to well
xx
Hello again, sparrow2 - and not to forget VLG23 whose original post this was. In my case, I go to the grounds of our local church (currently shut for building work hence the grounds only) to be close to my mother and to seek guidance. My mother‘s ashes are still at home, but she knew and loved this church and this is where her funeral was held so I feel close to her here. In some ways I suppose I’m doing a little better in that the major crying jags are further apart and I have just celebrated for lack of a better word the completion of the very biggest piece of sad-admin which has been heavily on my mind.m as HMRC will only wait so long. I attach a photo of my church which is looking particularly beautiful this morning in the sunshine.
Thank you to all who have replied to me as it helps to talk to people who understand. One of the hardest things I am finding is how to manage without being able to talk about my mother and about how I am feeling as I have almost no family and their way of coping is not to talk about it at all. I have one close friend who I can talk to, but she is grieving her own mother and I don’t like to bother her too often as she’s also coping with her father being extremely unwell with both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.
One step at a time really is the truth. I’m gearing up for my mother‘s birthday in the next week, which strangely I suspect will not actually be too bad as for me at least, much like Mother’s Day, I don’t need it to be a particular day to miss my mother sorely. Love courage and strength to all mourn. J
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Hello Blondie6, The up and down nature of grief is not easy. I keep busy but when I stop and think then I feel the emotion. My Mum died unexpectedly on the day that she was due home. I kept anticipating the exact time that the call came through. I have moved past the time now but I still carry some guilt. I think that guilt can be part of bereavement. I hope that tomorrow brings a better day for you.
It is a beautiful church and I can see why your Mum loved it so much and therefore knowing that, you feel close to her there. It is a special place - hold it in your heart. Mum and I used to go to a similar place, a religious statue in a little park and sit on a bench there. I cried walking past as I felt so alone looking at the bench that we used to sit on together. I have managed to go there since and have gained comfort by thinking and feeling mum’s presence beside me. I know what you mean about being able to talk about your mum. I found that at the start I talked to others, but as time goes on there isn’t anything ‘new’ to share. I have found my recent counselling sessions useful as it allows me time to talk about my mum, although I cry throughout remembering and missing her. I understand the HMRC bit. When the Land Registry letter dropped through the door a few weeks back, a wave of emotion came over me as it also showed the date when we first bought our home and I was transported back to a lovely, happy time. Mum’s body was received into the church she loved on the day that it would have been her 94th birthday. It was my birthday present to her, to bring her back to her church overnight the day before the funeral. We had a saying that everyday is like Christmas - so I treated Mother’s Day like just any other day to get through it. Sending virtual comfort to you all as our Mum’s were very special to us.
This is exactly how I feel. I get up and go to work and put on a brave face but the minute I’m home to my empty house I feel the worst loneliness I’ve ever felt. At the weekends I let them drift by often staying inside whilst the world continues.
I lost my dad at a young age and was raised by my grandparents. I cared for my nan who passed away 10 years ago and that was very hard but I still had my grandfather who I then cared for and he passed last year. the day he died I feel like something in me died and I just can’t get back to feeling normal. I feel totally lost and empty and a loneliness so strong it gives me anxiety that I no longer have a safety net or person to turn too. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with the grief? I speak to a therapist and listen to podcasts but I don’t feel like I’m making any progress at all and if anything the more I face the grief the more painful and frightening the future feels.