I feel so empty and alone

I lost my beloved husband on the 25th April, we had been married for almost 51 years, he died two weeks before our Anniversary. I am struggling so much as I know others are. He was my love my best friend my life, I don’t know how to be … without him, how do you move forward? I feel I am just existing, my family are very supportive, but my son has also lost his Dad so I have to try to control my grief a little in front of him and my granddaughter who misses her Pa so much. So most of the time it’s me crying with my dogs and feeling lost.

It’s difficult. My wife was 53. We been married for nearly 23 years. It is extremely difficult. Your having to control yourself because of your son. Hopefully you can support each other. We never had children and both have very little in family.
I have photos everywhere of good memories. Which helps a little. I guess you find going to bed and waking up very hard I know I do. I have found there are supportive people on here.

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It is so hard just taking one step at a time forward and then suddenly you go back ten steps in a heartbeat. Thank you for taking the time to answer, sometimes it is easier to speak to someone you don’t know. I am so sorry for your loss.

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It is so hard when you can not get answers. It is a case of talking one day at a time or even one hour.

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It makes it so much more difficult , I have just read your post and like my husband, your wife had a very rough deal, at the moment I hate the NHS for how he was treated it makes me feel very bitter and guilty for not being able to help him.

Thank you. What makes it worse is that she was a staff nurse at a different hospital. Like you I have lost someone so precious.

We must try to carry on in their memories, it is what they would have wanted us to do. It makes it even harder for you, if that is possible, that your wife was herself a Staff Nurse and as nurses do they think of others first.

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I know. Just never expected to be without her aged 49. I would have given up everything just for 1 more day. Money and posetions mean nothing. It’s all those reminders that are the triggers. Even the hairdryer noise.

I feel for you, at your ages you think you have years ahead and of course you should have, to plan things, even at mine and my husbands ages we thought we had years ahead and were planning to buy a camper van, his dream, but it wasn’t to be life is so cruel.

All those going toos plans. We have an old tourer and went to Devon in January and booked the actual pitch. I know it’s hard.

We were going to Hadrians wall one of his must dos.

Hello Chrissie so sorry to hear you lost your husband recently .I am feeling just the same, my husband died very suddenly two days before yours. It just feels like there’s no point in anything, or pleasure. Just as you say, he was my best friend and soul mate, we’d been together since I was 20 and life without him is unbearable. Like you I have lots of love and support around me for which I’m truly grateful but I don’t feel anyone can do anything for me really, not unless they can bring him back, That sounds awful because I know I’m so lucky with my lovely caring family, friends and neighbours and it must be a lot worse for those with no support. Like you, I try not to grieve and cry in the presence of my grown up children, one of whom lives close by. He is wonderful but he has his own grief and I don’t want to add to it. The others live a distance away and lockdown is just making everything a million times worse. Haven’t seen two of my grandchildren in person since february and yesterday was my granddaughters birthday , an occasion we’d always travelled down for for 13 years. So hard, spent most of the day in tears when I wasn’t having to interact with anyone. . Sorry for such a lengthy tale of woe, just been a bad day and so good as you said to unburden to someone unconnected but in the same head and heart space. Things will get better for us, they have to! Take care x

Hello bjane,
We are so lucky to have the support we do, but there is only one thing we really want, life is at times unbearably sad and difficult and lonely , but I know my husband is up there willing me on and yours will be too, we had love that cannot be taken away, stay strong . X

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Yes Chrissie you’re right, we must try to make them proud of us. Making yourself be strong is like putting a smile on your face even if you’re not happy,I think it has some effect and helps us get through another day knowing we can do it.And we will! With love x

I lost my iain very suddenly 2 yrs ago
It’s a totally different feeling to lose a partner, it changes every aspect of my life
I’d made myself a little daily routine but this lockdown has spoilt that
I was 17 when we got married we had 44 yrs and still had so many plans
It’s very hard xx