I feel so guilty

I lost my mum in November due to a fall in her kitchen. She managed to press her alert and when I got there the paramedic and assistants were tending to her. I took one look at her and said she had had a stroke as she was unable to speak, walk, was leaning to one side and had been violently sick but the paramedic said no she hadn’t. She had recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia. She was taken to hospital and they kept her in. They said she had an infection but I kept saying to the nurses she wasn’t right but they said it was delirium. She was more alert the next day but was slurring her words and not still not able to walk. She got worse each day and a nurse finally noticed and alerted the doctor who referred her for a scan which showed a bleed in her brain. She was too ill at that point to do surgery and we were told there was nothing they could do. She passed away a week later. I feel so guilty that I didn’t demand a scan when she first was admitted as I just knew she wasn’t right. I’m absolutely devastated. She was my best friend. I don’t even want to leave the house and am not sleeping properly. I let her down. My only comfort is she is now with my dad. I am so sorry for the long post. .

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You do not need to feel guilty.

You put your trust in the medical professionals, they are trained in medical matters so we have to rely on them knowing there job.

Even if you had demanded a scan I’m sure they wouldn’t have done one.

Sometimes the control is out of our hands.

Try to think that your mum is now at peace & in time the bad memories will fade & the good memories before your mum was ill will come forward, your right your parents are now reunited :slightly_smiling_face:.

Thank you for your kind words xx I know you are right just need to try and remember she is at peace now. It just hurts so much. Thank you again

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