I feel so isolated after the death of my mum


I’m new to this. We lost my mum in June after she was diagnosed with a brain tumour only 3 months before.

We nursed her at home for 5 weeks and then she spent a week in the hospice where she died.

I was expecting lots of emotions and feel desperately lost without her.

The thing I wasn’t expecting was how isolating it is. I know friends and work colleagues don’t want to upset me so they just don’t mention it at all. I’m desperate to talk about the whole experience but don’t know where to start and because no one even asks how I am, it makes it harder. I constantly feel like I’m protecting other people but it just makes me feel so lonely.

I know it’s hard for others to hear when you feel so low, so I do understand…I just wasn’t expecting it.
Does anyone else feel the same?


Hi Col, when we loss our mums, we have lost a very big part of us because mums are very special and are a big part of us, their child/children. We don’t expect to have these feelings associated with grieving, it’s that feeling it wouldn’t happen to us and therefore other people we have as friends don’t understand how we feel. May I suggest you think about counselling, either from sue Ryder because we have counsellors or Cruse, I know there’s a wait time but you will be able to talk to someone about how you feel. We all, on this site understand how you are because we all have lost someone special. Reading others post and post yourself helps and just writing about how you feel can be useful. Take care S xx

Cruse. .Org

Thank you for your message, I really appreciate it. It’s such a lonely place to be

Hi Col3,

Yep, I know that feeling of protecting others because you can feel that it’s too much for them if you started talking about the bereavement. It is incredibly lonely and has made me think that society’s actually set up to create this loneliness in grief - we’re often so disconnected from death and bereavement until it happens to us.

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum. 3 months is a very short time to begin to know you’re going to lose your Mum. I lost my mum pretty quickly a year ago so I understand the shock. I remember those first weeks after my Mum died, I would have talked to anyone about what had happened and I think I sort of expected that people would listen. It was the strangest realisation that actually it wasn’t something anyone was going to ask me about.

I really hope you can find some respite from the loneliness on this site - it’s one of the things that’s been genuinely helpful for me.

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Hi Col3, I’m so sorry for your loss, I can totally understand how your feeling, I lost my mum in July this year, I looked after her at home for 6 weeks till she passed away, I was so glad I was able to be with her till the end, I miss her so much it’s so hard to function every day, the funeral was the Wednesday just gone so everything is still so raw :pensive: I feel so lost, angry & guilty she isn’t still here, my life will never be the same, they say you get over it or learn to live with it but I don’t see4how,bits so hard

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I would give anything to hear from my mum again, I’ve not felt her presence or seen any signs since shes been gone, maybe I’m expecting too much but I would love to know she is ok & she isn’t scared or lonely

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