I feel so lost and alone

I lost my partner of 30 years suddenly 3rd November 2018. He was my best friend and soul mate. We did everything together and I miss him so much. He would have been 50 in April. In December 2014 I had pneumonia and sepsis and my family was told to expect the worst. Then in January 2015 they found a mass in his lung . I had just come out of hospital. They thought it was cancer, but it was tb. We both recovered together and hoped that was it. We had four years of helping each other. I miss the simple things of watching tv and walking our dogs. I am just going from one day to the next and if it wasn’t for the dogs I wouldn’t do anything. I sometimes think I shouldn’t have survived in 2014, which I know is wrong, but I wouldn’t be going through this. The last few days have been really bad. My sjorgrens doesn’t help. I feel very low at the moment and lonely. Love to all of you going through the same pain. Jan

Hi Jan,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your partner, after going through so many health problems yourself. It sounds as though it was a big shock, and it’s natural that you miss him very much.

You mention thinking that you shouldn’t have survived your past health problems. It’s understandable to have these types of thoughts under the circumstances, but it can help to have some support and the chance to talk about these feelings. I’m glad that you’ve found this site and I see you’ve already been posting in a few conversations. I hope that you are finding it helps a tiny bit to be able to talk to others in similar situations.

If you have any questions about the site, or there is anything I can help with, you can send me a private message, or email me on online.community@sueryder.org.